Mr. Rooter is a fraud.
That's our opinion anyway.
We've all known for decades that when you clog your pipes, whether because of an Upper Decker/Top Shelf or otherwise, you call Roto Rooter. Who the heck is "Mr. Rooter?" Never heard of the guy, and why is he winking at us? It's like he's tacitly saying "I know I'm not Roto Rooter, I'm a bit cheaper, and probably not as good, just use me...."
Mr. Rooter is to unclogging drains what Hydrox cookies are to Oreos. Or what Ho Ho's are to Yodels. You get the picture, cheap imitations. Stop winking at us Mr. Rooter, we're calling our good friend Roto when our double cheesesteak does us dirty in the pipes.
This is Robert Green, England's goalie in the World Cup match against the United States on Saturday. He's letting in a shot that should have been easily stopped. Mr. Green had a bad day. If you live in the U.S., don't be surprised if Mr. Green moves in next door to you soon, since he won't be welcomed back home in the U.K. any time soon.
He probably would've had a better chance at stopping the shot if he hands weren't bandaged up like a burn victim's. Now he's a burn victim himself....
This is the drawbridge over the Shark River Inlet between Avon and Belmar, NJ. As you can see, the bridge was up today, just when I was trying to ride my bike over it. What annoys me is that half the time this bridge is raised because some egotistical boat owner has a radio antenna that protrudes too high. If I were the governor of New Jersey, or the Ruler of the New Jersey Waterways, I would mandate that boat antennas be retractable, thus no bridge would ever have to raise for them.
@$(*@#&# the egotistical boat owners!!! Shortly after this photo was taken, I built up a head of steam on my bike and Evel Knievel'ed over the open span, to the applause of hundreds.
That's it for today folks. Our Florida interview in The LG Report's 50-State Interview Series will be along shortly.
Wait, a PS: Candidate Anna Little of the 6th Congressional District in New Jersey, won her primary today when her opponent conceded the race. The LG Report has now officially endorsed only one candidate ever, and is batting a perfect 100%. We expect politicians nationwide to be courting our endorsement soon.
Now please put your seatback in the upright and locked position, we're coming in for a landing...
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