European River Cruise 2018 - Germany

The second and third stops on European River Cruise 2018 were Regensburg and Passau, Germany. 

The German people are generally warm and hospitable (well, maybe not Angela Merkel, but the others.) However, on the whole, they're not funny (Lousiville is funny, as you can see HERE) But that won't stop LG from trying to inject humor and snark into these Germanic photos. Jawohl! (Picked that up from Sergeant Schultz...)  


This is the Stone Bridge, a pedestrian-only structure which connects Old Town Regensburg to what appears to LG to be the New Town, but is technically called "Stadtamhof." If anyone knows what that means, please leave a comment. LG guesses it means "Stadium where David Hasselhoff performs." E-Z Pass not accepted. 

 Cobblestone streets and sidewalks are everywhere in Central Europe. Pro-Tip: We know you hate to hear this ladies, but wear sensible shoes. Your dogs will thank you. 

This is a section of the Danube in Regensburg. Locals sunbathe on the shores while lamenting that Frau Merkel was not successful in buying an island from Greece. Luckily, Frau Merkel herself was not sunbathing while we were there. 

A tourist boat makes its way down the Danube at lunchtime. This is not a cruise ship with cabins, but rather a party boat with dining and dancing areas. David Hasselhoff was performing on board this day, singing "Stairway to Heaven" as the boat passed. 

Speaking of which...the crowd on our Avalon Panorama ship got pretty rowdy a few nights. The average age was 92.5, but nonetheless these folks could boogie (unlike an ocean cruise ship, there were no kids or teens on board). Here we see a conga line about to unleash its fury. There was a nightly dance contest with the winner receiving a month's supply of Depends. There were some singles on the trip and, believe it or not, some hook ups. Hearts and hips were broken.    

David vs. Goliath is depicted on this building in Regensburg. Nobody names their kid "Goliath" anymore, this guy ruined it for everyone. Perhaps if he had beaten David, we'd be talking about Goliath Hasselhoff today. 

This nice fraulein conducted a presentation on different kinds of beer on board the boat. It was actually quite informative. There was also a beer tasting component to the session. While the local German beers made a strong showing, Utica Club and Schlitz tied for first. 
Here's a view of Passau (not an LG photo, he didn't get one as nice as this.) Adolf Hitler lived in Passau for two years with his family (1892 - 94) but, as you can imagine, it's not something the tourist bureau advertises.  

This is Exhibit A in the rule of thumb that tour guides are generally full of shiiite. We were told by two or three tour guides that in  Passau we'd find "the biggest organ in the world." Turns out that it wasn't even in the Top 20. It's actually only the largest church organ in Europe. And, on top of that, this isn't even that organ, LG didn't get a photo of that one, this is a smaller organ in another church. See, even bloggers can be full of shiiite! Hey, if you want to see a big organ go watch some porn, this is a family-friendly blog. 

Not that you asked, but this is a view of one of the hallways on our boat. The vessel accommodated about 166 passengers plus crew. And the rooms were surprisingly nice. 

We close this segment of our European River Cruise 2018 blog series with another view of the Stone(r) Bridge in Regensburg (ignore those kids smoking pot on the left side). 

Next up: Wacky European Signs