Mixed Bag

 LG has not been posting much lately, as you may have noticed.  A bunch of things have been going on, including snow, blackouts and work issues, plus, LG is losing some of his blogging momentum.  We'll see how it goes ... In the meantime, here's a photo from LG's trip, currently in progress, to Southern California. 

As you can see, the airlines are not only cheaping put these days by charging for checked luggage and on-board meals, but they're also flying closer to the ground to save gas.  This was while we were flying over Denver's airport on our way to San Diego.

Now on to some recent Facebook postings. Only the highlights (yes, there were plenty even less funny than these!)

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This is how bad the economy is these days: Went to see a filming of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" yesterday and learned that they've now changed the name to "Who Wants Extra Foodstamps?" Seriously.

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"Slow Down" traffic signs annoy me. How do they know how fast you're going in the first place? They don't. To make my point, I always slow down to 1 mile-per-hour whenever I see one of those signs. I think the people behind me support my principled stand because they always honk their support enthusiastically. Some even give the bird to the sign.

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Man, I'm tired today. I was at a three-way last night, it was wild.

The people at the other two stop signs almost collided, neither stopped fully. It was crazy, nearly a huge wreck. I was talking about a three-way stop intersection, of course. What did you think?!

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When you think about it, the name "Pottery Barn" makes no sense. When was the last time you heard someone say "That's like closing the barn door after the pottery gets out?"

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This is going too far now. A bunch of pre-schoolers in my town are mad at the new PBS schedule of shows, so they've started an "Occupy Sesame Street" movement.

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Steven Seagal is going to patrol the U.S. - Mexico border (see http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/17/steven-seagal-lawman-sheriffs-deputy-border-patrol-kill-puppy-guns-rifles/). He'll do a great job of keeping illegals out of our country if he uses the same acting skills that help him keep people out of theaters. 

 As always, thanks for stopping by!

THE LGR Interviews Bouncin' Barb!

[Editor's Note: Yes, the exclamation point was necessary.] 

Today, The LG Report heads down to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina to interview the incomparable Barb of  This & That (As I Bounce Thru Life) .  Barb writes a delightfully entertaining blog from the point of view of a lifelong Northerner (she moved to South Carolina from Connecticut three years ago) who now finds herself in the warmer and easier-going environment of the South.  Click her blog title above to be transported to her unique world. 

The LG Report recently sat down with Bouncin' Barb over a plate of crawdads to find out what makes her tick.  Well, not really, we just asked our usual inane questions, but that sounded good.  Anyway, strap yourself in, here we go:

The LG Report:  Barb, let's address the elephant(s) in the room right off the bat...your nickname is "Bouncin' Barb," obviously because of your bouncy and buoyant personality, correct?

Bouncin' Barb:   Yeah Right!  Bouncy and buoyant but not quite about the personality.  I wrote a post about how I got my nickname.  Click Here to read it.  

The LG Report:  OK, now that I've come off seeming like a sensitive and in-touch-with-his-emotions type of guy, let's really address the elephant -- Do they ever give you black eyes when you run or walk fast?  

Bouncin' Barb:  No, but I have caused a few fender benders when I used to powerwalk!!

The LG Report:   Sorry, that was a piggish question.  We assume they're real.  How do you hold them up, is there steel reinforcement or something? 

Bouncin' Barb:  I must confess that I have never been fond of anything that is restrictive so I let ‘em loose.  At 50 years old I still look pretty good. 

The LG Report:  Sorry, sorry, this is wrong, we can't stay focused on just one specific physical characteristic, albeit a superlative one, of you.  You are a well-rounded, complex human being with a wide variety of fascinating aspects to your being.  Let's move on to something more substantial, you've already kept us abreast of developments on that other topic. 

OK, what's the cup size.  We promise, we'll move on after this one....

Bouncin' Barb:  I’m a proud D cup and yes I am a well rounded individual.  Especially with what is “behind” me.  When I was younger I would have put JLo to shame.

The LG Report:  So we're told by your media relations people that you grew up in New Jersey.  Probably the best state that there is.  What's the best thing about New Jersey in your view (viewing it over those two bouncing orbs, that is...)  

Bouncin' Barb:  I did grow up there.  I left there for a year to run wild out in Idaho but returned for a few more years.  I was fortunate to grow up in the more rural area of the state but it was turning into a concrete jungle after awhile.  I still say “cawfee”, “dawg”, and “oh my gawd”.  That always gets a laugh especially down south.  However, growing up in Jersey did teach me how to be a true Joisey Girl and not take crap from anyone!

The LG Report:  And then you spent time living in Connecticut.  We assume not at the Women's Federal Correctional Facility in Danbury.  Not that we're interested in or obsessed with women's prisons.  So, did you live near Danbury?

Bouncin' Barb:  Fortunately no.  Danbury is too close to New York.  I lived in the Hartford area.  The insurance capital of the world. 

The LG Report:  What was the best thing about living in Connecticut and if it was so great, why did you leave?  Sorry to put you in the hot and bouncy seat here.

Bouncin' Barb:  I loved CT because it was as New England as I had imagined.  And the casinos were so much fun. The schools were great for my son even though he hated school.  My late hubby was from there originally so we moved back to be near his children as well.  After he passed away I eventually moved down south to get away from the freezing cold and snow.  Lately it’s cold up till May in CT.

The LG Report:   We know that you moved to South Carolina to buy fireworks.  What's it like living in the South after growing up in the Northeast?  Do you ever find yourself missing the ice and snow and cold and traffic and crime and dirt and....

Bouncin' Barb:  You’ve been misinformed.  I didn’t move for the fireworks.  I moved for the warm sunny beaches. And I don’t miss anything about CT except for my son, step kids and grandkids.  It is pretty hot and steamy here so sitting on the beach or dipping in the ocean is amazing. 

The LG Report:  What's your favorite topic to blog about and why? 

Bouncin' Barb:  I love to tell stories of my very colorful life.  My followers ask for more so I have to provide them with what they want.  Let’s just say I can’t run for public office!  But I also like to write about my late hubby because he was so awesome.  He was much older than me so he would tell people he raised me.  He kind of did.  He had a great sense of humor.  He had to if he married me.

The LG Report:  Please provide us with a link to one or two of your personal favorite postings on your blog. 

Bouncin' Barb:  Click here....  and HERE to read them. 

The LG Report: We know that you've put a person's cremated remains in a Zip-loc baggie.  That's rather unorthodox.  Can you give us any other examples of wacky things you've done which would cause us to cross the street to walk on the other side when we see you coming?

Bouncin' Barb:  Sometimes I have issues with my left and rights.  I was once giving directions from the passenger seat to a friend’s house.  I said at the next stop, turn right and pointed with my hand.   Right?  Yes I said.  Right here?  Again I said yes getting aggravated.  Right here once more?    Turns out I used my left hand to point to the left while saying turn right.  So you could say that you might want to cross to the other side of the road if you see me coming. 

The LG Report:  It's widely reported in People Magazine, US Weekly and O, the Oprah Magazine, that you and Sandra of Absolutely Narcissism  (live link there) are having an international blogging affair.  A more piggish man than LG would say "Can we watch?"  As a refined blogger, LG will pass on that.  Who is going to eventually move, you to Canada or her to South Carolina and how will that work out?

Bouncin' Barb: I had to ask Sandra for her input here because we have that kind of considerate love for each other. 

Her reply: I will move.  I’m a heat seeker....you know, the sun.  I love the sun…what did you think I meant by heat seeker?

My reply:  She’s got to move here to the south.  Have you seen her in a bikini?  We have beach weather for 7 months a year here.

The LG Report:  If you and Sandra were to co-write a blog, what would it's name be?

Bouncin' Barb:  We will have to keep that secret until we released the blog. But it would be good, I can promise you that.

The LG Report:  What's your position on the debt ceiling?

Bouncin' Barb:   I’m sorry.  The only time I’ve had a position on the ceiling is when there was a mirror above the bed. 

The LG Report:  Can they talk?  Sorry, that was uncalled for.  Let's move on to a different question.  I need to start looking up at your face.  Myrtle Beach is a tourist mecca, known for it's variety of interesting activities, including golf.  Given the array of attractions in the area, we have to ask: Do you work at the Master's Strip Club? If so, can you get LG's friends free passes.  These would not be for LG of course, but for his unnamed friends. 

Bouncin' Barb:  I’m sorry but I am currently out of commission.  However I have a lifetime pass at Mount Atlanticus Mini Golf in Myrtle Beach and my picture in a bathing suit is on their wall of fame.  You and your friends can go there to see me.  I made an incredible hole in one on the 19^th hole that was so difficult even seasoned golfers couldn’t make it.

The LG Report: What do you think of the tourists who overwhelm Myrtle Beach? 

Bouncin' Barb:  Most of them are true rednecks who come out of the mountains every summer to see the beach.  You can have a field day people watching here. 

The LG Report:  Who would play you in the movie "Bouncin' Barb's Life Story?"  LG sees Pamela Anderson but you may have a better choice. 

Bouncin' Barb:  Pam’s were bought and paid for.  Mine are the real thing.  So I’m thinking since most of Hollywood’s women are siliconed, I’d have to play myself.

The LG Report:  Barb, it's been a true pleasure interviewing you today.  Any parting thoughts for our readers?

Bouncin' Barb:  Yes.  Live life to the fullest.  It’s way too short.
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That's a wrap folks, our interview with the fabulous Bouncin' Barb has come to an end.  Check out her blog when you get a chance, she's very entertaining and well worth your time. 

See you back here again soon!

The LG Report Interviews Carol, Author of "Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines"

 Kids, 

LG doesn't want to belabor this point, so let's get right to it: Carol's book "Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines"   is AWESOME!  The book is probably aimed mostly at women, but LG, as a man, read it from cover to cover and LOVED IT.  Order it now (click on the book's title above to bring you to the link, which will allow you to order it) and you will be very happy to have done so.

OK,  on to the next order of business, here's LG's interview with Carol.  Enjoy: 

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The LG Report:  Carol, thanks for stopping by today for this interview.  We know your schedule has been very busy since the publication of your fabulous new book and all of its attendant success.  We're glad to see that none of this has gone to your head.  By the way, would you please ask your three bodyguards to sit down now, they're making us nervous with those guns pointed at us. 

So, first question: How many of the incidents in this book were based on your real life on a scale of 0% to 100%?   100% being the highest, in case you're not good at math.

Famous Author Carol:  Sorry who are you again? Aren’t I supposed to be answering questions for Jay Leno? Ah well, never mind, you look nicer than him, but do please hurry up with the questions. I have a ten-fifteen slot with Oprah and CNN want me to front their news programme tonight because I have a nice British accent.

Now, question one – I have to be careful with this answer as I have made a major disclaimer in the front of the book that all the work and all of the characters are fictional so I can’t give away too much. Between you and me though, at least (cough, cough, cough) percent are true.

The LG Report:  Have you ever had a former lover contact you in real life and, if so, did you meet up with him?  Please provide salacious details, you know that nobody really reads The LG Report.

Famous Author Carol:  I’m guessing I can’t use the coughing answer again on this one. Yes, I have. In fact I have had three former boyfriends contact me on the internet but about a hundred years has gone by since we last met so it wouldn’t be wise to rekindle any relationship and meet up. I saw the photographs of one of them and I think he has had a sex change. He’s now called Toni with an ‘i’ instead of Tony and likes wearing bright pink lycra leggings. I have a horrible feeling that I might have caused some irreparable damage to him when we split up. Another is married to a wrestler, has four children and works as an accountant and the third is Todd Bradshaw!

The LG Report:  Why did you choose the title "Gone with the Wind" for your book?  Oh, wait, sorry, your book is "Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines."  Sorry for the confusion, we had schedule an interview with Margaret Mitchell until we realized that she's dead.  So, back to your book, how did  you settle upon the title?

Famous Author Carol:  I needed something punchy that would convey the sense of fun in the book. I wrote out a list of about twenty titles and asked friends to choose their favourite title then ripped them all up and chose this one which came to me at three o’clock on the morning I needed to send my script to the publisher. My husband wanted me to call it ‘Fifty not Out’ But since there isn’t one reference to cricket I didn’t think that would work.

The LG Report:  Describe your writing process to us, but keep it non-boring if possible.  We're already getting sleepy and you haven't even started to speak...

Famous Author Carol:  My brain fires up, my fingers whir over the keyboard and after about fifteen hours during which time I forget to eat, cook, clean the house, or go to the bathroom my husband tells me off for ignoring him all day and complains that I am keeping him awake with the clatter of keyboard strokes. I then spend every night for the next three months in a sleepless fog, type all night and behave like a zombie housewife all day.

The LG Report:  How did your husband and son feel about their sort-of portrayal in the book?  Did they feel the portrayal was a betrayal?  We only asked that second question because it was a nifty rhyme, feel free to disregard if you don't like answering nonsensical questions.

Famous Author Carol:  Hubby refuses to read it. He’s frightened that I might have put something about him in it - as if I would!

Son loved it and made all his work colleagues buy a copy which he signed as ‘Tom’. By the way I love the nifty rhyming question – are you going to try that technique in your new insurance book.?

The LG Report:  What is J.K. Rowling like?  We assume you that famous female U.K.-based authoresses get together for tea all the time. 

Famous Author Carol:  She’s a very cool dude…hangs out with some strange sorts though – they seem to be mini Goths in cloaks - and she has a weird habit of bringing owls to the tearoom.

The LG Report:  You use a lot of words which American readers aren't familiar with, such as "chuffed," "chuntered" and "tannoy system" to name a few (they may not be spelled exactly correct, since LG doesn't have his copy of the book at the moment, Mrs. LG has it somewhere.)  We consider that part of the charm of the book.  There's not really a question here so let's try to make one anyway:  What's your favorite scene in the book?

Famous Author Carol:  Ah, the diversity of the British language! I find some of its words, like ‘chunter’, ‘snogging’ and ‘barmcake’ always make me smile. That isn’t really an answer, is it?

My favourite scene is the ending where beautiful, smart and enchanting Anna has an affair and ends up throwing herself under a train, all because Victorian society said it was OK for a man to cheat, but not a woman...hang on did I write that one?

Gosh, I can’t really answer the question because in truth I haven’t read Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines.

The LG Report:  Tell the truth now: Were you mentally picturing LG in your mind as the inspiration for Todd Bradshaw, the dreamy ex-boyfriend?  If you say "no" this interview will not get published, but feel free to answer truthfully.

Famous Author Carol:  If I answer yes, Mrs LG will come over here and practice her judo moves on me so I’m ‘taking the fifth’ on this question.

The LG Report:  Do you like to garden as much as Amanda Wilson, the main character in the book?  And, if so, have you won any prizes for gardening?  What's your favorite thing to grow?

Famous Author Carol:  (Splutters her chilled Chablis over the table at this question) I am to gardening what Lady Gaga is to modesty. I can’t tell the difference between a plant and a weed. As long as it produces some sort of colour it gets to live in my garden. The wild rabbits have sorted out the garden layout now though – it seems to consist of some grass and lots of holes.

The LG Report:  If you could now go back and change any one thing about the book, what would it be?

Famous Author Carol:  Phil would murder Amanda and run off with Todd.

The LG Report:  When the movie gets made, do you see LG starring in the role of Todd Bradshaw or would you prefer a close substitute for LG, say George Clooney or Brad Pitt? 

Famous Author Carol:  I think you would make a fabulous Todd: suntanned, worldly, engaging and very wealthy. As long as you can do your own stunts and wear tight Speedos I see no reason why you couldn’t play the role.

The LG Report:  What real-life actress do you envision playing Amanda Wilson?  We're thinking maybe Diane Lane or Meryl Streep.  Your thoughts?

Famous Author Carol:  I favour the actress who played Bridget Jones – Renee Zellweger or maybe we could ask Madonna to make another movie appearance. She’d look good in the thigh length boots and thong section. Hubby said Cameron Diaz because he rather likes her, so definitely not Cameron Diaz.

The LG Report:  Are you working on a sequel yet?  If not, another book?  If so, please give us a brief synopsis to whet our appetite and let us know when you expect that it will be released.  

Famous Author Carol:  The next book will be called Surfing in Stilettos.

Amanda will be back, along with her mother who has now discovered Skype and has set in the fashion industry with Grego and Spencer.  Their retro clothing is hitting Europe by storm, as is her mother who has taken partying to a whole new level.

There are some familiar characters and also new characters including Bibi, a French woman whose husband is having a string of affairs but who has a refreshing approach to his infidelity and ageing.

Amanda is enjoying her on-line life and is making many friends but behind all the frivolity, looming in the background, is a shadowy sinister figure who becomes obsessed with Amanda.

The LG Report: In your wildest dreams, while you were writing "Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines," did you ever expect that you would achieve so much success as to be interviewed by The LG Report?  Be honest.

Famous Author Carol:  I really didn’t expect that I would shoot to such dizzy heights. Jay, I can’t tell you how much it has meant to be on your show. I have been a big fan of yours Mr Leno, for so long and to meet you in the flesh has been a privilege.

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So that's the interview. It would be really hard to explain how entertaining Carol's book and blog are, but you might get the drift. (click on this link to get to Carol's blog:  Facing50WithHumour)  It's all very fun and entertaining. and LG recommends that you check it out ASAP!  And come back again soon, we have some more fun stuff planned... 

Redux: An Ode to Wegman's

Here's a re-post from February 2010.  For those of you unfamiliar with Wegmans, you may not want to read below, it will make you a tad jealous...

[Editor's Note: Our sure-to-entertain-you interview with Carol of "Facing 50 With Humour" about her new book "Mini Skirts and Laughter Lines" will be posted soon so please check back.]

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A brilliant, shining beacon, brighter in the grocery universe than even the sun,
Wegmans wipes up its lame competitors like a bad spill in aisle one.

Its produce farm fresh and crisp; Wegmans sells the tastiest deli,
The competition’s food is old...hard...and even a tad smelly.

“I can fix the economy,” said the Prez, “I will mend ‘er,”
His smart move: making Wegmans coupons U.S. legal tender.

And so now I solemnly pledge, ashamed just a smidgeon,
That I’ve left the church; Wegmans is my new religion.
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I've heard peopls say bad things about the Pope, but I've never heard anyone say anything bad about Wegmans. 

And I've never seen Sinead O'Connor rip up a picture of a Wegmans store on Saturday Night Live.

This is a bit over the top, I know, but the Cult of Wegmans has a chokehold on the Mid-Atlantic region and it's time to discuss it openly.  Specifically, I'm talking about the five states boasting Wegmans locations: New York (48), Pennsylvania (13), New Jersey (7), Virginia (6) and Maryland (1). 

Two Wegmans are planned for Massachusetts, but no construction date has been set.  Pity poor Massachusetts, being on the receiving end of a Wegmans tease.  And, even more, pity the other 44 Wegmans-less wastelands trying to pass themselves off as U.S. states.  They are Third-Worlders as far as the rest of us are concerned.

If you haven't been in a Wegmans, you can't imagine what I'm talking about, but I'll try to pull back the curtain a bit on the Wizard (only this one is real). And I'll supply some pictures. 

I went into a New Jersey Wegmans recently just to get some photos for this post. I had no intention of making any purchases, I wanted nothing.  When I emerged an hour later, I wanted for nothing.

Here's the scene in a typical Wegmans produce department:

This pictue doesn't capture the full cornucopia of fresh fruits and vegetables that dance about.  They are so fresh that they seem to grow in their display crates.  Most first-timers swirl in circles, wide-eyed, gaping at the extensive selection.

One of the drawbacks of being a small-time blogger, like me (I know I had you fooled), is that it can be awkward, and raise questions, when you take pictures of people and places in public for no discernible reason.   

As I raised my camera to snap the photo above, an elderly gentleman, a dead ringer for Uncle Junior of "The Sopranos," said to me " Whaddaya buying the place?"

Good question.

Feeling somewhat like I had been busted by the police, I mumbled that I had to take a picture so that I could send it to a friend.  He replied, "Yeah, I do that too..."  Then he walked away, convinced, it seemed, that he hadn't stumbled across somebody who was up to no good.

It's difficult to determine where to begin when describing the delight that is Wegmans.  The store has a huge selection, only the best and freshest products, competitive prices, a luxurious interior (as food stores go) and knowledgeable, nice and enthusiastic employees (37,000 of them.)  Wegmans was ranked #5 on Fortune Magazine's 2009 list of The 100 Best Companies To Work For and has been featured on the list every year since it began in 1998.  In 2005, Wegmans was #1.         

Here's what the freezer cases look like:

That's genuine imported French oak surrounding the freezer doors, it once lined the ballroom of the Palace at Versailles. 

Ok, I made that up, maybe I'm getting a bit carried away, but if you're thinking of freezing yourself cryogenically after you die, you couldn't do better than storing your body in a Wegmans freezer.  You'd be assured of at least weekly visits from your family -- maybe twice during Super Bowl week. This could be a new product idea for Wegmans.

"Let's go say hello to Uncle Hal kids, he's hanging right next to the 'Tastes Like Delivery' DiGiorno pizzas."

The deli selection was much more impressive than depicted here.  A woman was ordering, and both she and the counter guy were looking at me funny when they saw that I was going to take their picture.  I heard them say something about "Megan's Law" and I walked away quickly.  There's nothing worse than being thrown out of paradise.

This is a partial picture of the Wegmans prepared food buffet.  It puts Las Vegas to shame.  And those stairs in the background lead to a five-star cafe. 

Employees of other supermarkets shop here.

Wegmans was founded by the Wegman family in Rochester, NY in 1916 and has been continuously run by a family member.  Today, Danny Wegman is CEO and his daughter, Colleen, is the president.

It's one of the largest privately-held companies in the United States according to Forbes Magazine.

Those are some of the cold, hard facts, but, clearly, they don't convey the entire picture.

Wegmans is Babe Ruth hitting a monster homerun with a loaf of piping hot Italian bread,
Wegmans is Michael Jordan slamming home a rim-rattling dunk with a fresh lettuce head,
Wegmans is Tiger Woods Arnold Palmer making a 50-foot putt with a USDA Grade A egg,
Wegmans is Pele faking out two defenders and blasting the winning goal with a tender turkey leg.
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By now, I hope you get the picture.  Wegmans Rocks.  Amen.

Facebook Posts October 2011

 Yeah, we know, it's a little lame but we're recycling Facebook posts from LG's account for those who haven't seen them..enjoy!

PS Interview with Carol about her new book coming soon.  So you have that to look forward to ....

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• Obama's new tax plan is really hitting people hard. The rapper 50 Cent just announced that he has to change his name to 43 Cent.

• Infidelity. Broken promises. Back-stabbing. Lies. Divorce. The Real Housewives? No, The Big East Conference!

• George Clooney must have ESP. I've been sending him messages telepathically telling him not to call me to be his stunt double in movies (it's obvious that we look alike) and lo and behold: He has refrained from calling. You just can't explain some workings of the supernatural.

• Rock stars should not stay in hotels. You always hear of rock stars dying in hotel rooms. When was the last time you heard of a rocker dying in a timeshare? And this post was not even sponsored by the timeshare industry.

• Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers improved upon my idea and made a fortune. The song I had originally written was called "Monster Au Gratin."

• You know Jay Z. changed his name just so he'd be the last one called on in class. Pretty obvious. 

 

• Not everything translates well. I was in a Chinese restaurant the other day and I heard the cook singing "Sweet and Sour Home Alabama."

• Trader Vic's standards have really gone down. I saw a werewolf in there the other day drinking a pina colada and his hair was far from perfect. In fact it was downright unkempt actually. Sad.

• Man, Lynyrd Skynyrd was really pissed off at ole Neil Young. Personally, I think they need to develop thicker skyn about things like that.

 

• I wonder if Mick Jagger knew that he was violating federal law when he went down to the Chelsea Drugstore to get someone else's prescription filled.

 

• She wouldn't listen when I told her to stop talking. She just kept yammering away and telling me what to do. I grew more and more frustrated. I told her to stop, but she wouldn't. Finally, I hate to admit it, I lost my temper and slapper her. Damn GPS...

• Is it just me or do people who you swear you never friended show up on your Facebook page? Mahmoud Amahdinejad keeps inviting me to hike with him near the Iran border. Weird.

Greece - Part 3

LG is really pissed off.  Blogger.com has changed to some new format which is exceedingly hard to navigate and is really annoying.  The list of blog followers, and blogs followed, are both gone.  Nobody at Blogger.com (Google) responds to any requests or questions.  For the time being, LG is going to post only very infrequently, once every week or two.  He's considering switching to Wordpress or another platform.  But for the time being, here are the last set of his recent trip to Greece, back by popular demand.  These were tall taken with his DROID camera phone.  Enjoy!

LG's personal yacht can be seen in the background.  It was funded by the ad revenue from The LG Report.  Thank you readers!

LG and his lovely wife stayed in the white building during their honeymoon on Santorini.

This is the view from LG's hotel balcony on Mykonos.  That pool is filled with ouzo.  Kind of sticky but you don't mind when it gets in your mouth.

This is the evening view from LG's balcony on Andros Island, where his father was born and raised.  LG got special treatment while on Andros, an extra bar of soap in his room at the local hotel. 

A fishing boat on Andros.  The fish are attracted by the bright orange color.  LG doesn't know this for a fact, but you probably don't either and it sounds good.

Bougainvillaea (thank you spell check) hang over a street in the small port town of Gavrion on Andros.  LG's dad grew up in the house on the far right, just before the stairs, although it doesn't look like a house to you rich Americans.  Get over it.

MCat and some others wanted to see pictures of Greek food.  In the foreground is a plate of saganaki, traditional fried Greek cheese.  Not pictured: Traditional Greek cardiologist performing CPR on saganaki eaters.  In the back on the right is a gyro, or souvlaki.  On the left is a plate of fat French fries, non-McDonald's style.  Get over that too.

The Acropolis in Athens, one of the Seven Wonders of the World.  This building is older than Betty White (but not by much.)  The woman in the foreground in the blue dress never thought she'd be pictured on The LG Report, otherwise she would've covered her cottage cheese arm.   She's flanked by two Indiana Jones wannabees.

 A view of Athens from the Acropolis.  LG stayed in that white building.

And, finally, one last photo from the islands, the place you want to be if you visit Greece.  The economy there needs your tourist dollars and it's not really that expensive.  Just tell them that LG sent you and you'll get the red-carpet treatment.  What are you waiting for?  As Steve Jobs said, live every day as if it were your last...

Until next time, thanks for stopping by!