Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Facebook Posts October 2011


 Yeah, we know, it's a little lame but we're recycling Facebook posts from LG's account for those who haven't seen them..enjoy!

PS Interview with Carol about her new book coming soon.  So you have that to look forward to ....
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  • Obama's new tax plan is really hitting people hard. The rapper 50 Cent just announced that he has to change his name to 43 Cent.
  • Infidelity. Broken promises. Back-stabbing. Lies. Divorce. The Real Housewives? No, The Big East Conference!
  • George Clooney must have ESP. I've been sending him messages telepathically telling him not to call me to be his stunt double in movies (it's obvious that we look alike) and lo and behold: He has refrained from calling. You just can't explain some workings of the supernatural.
  • Rock stars should not stay in hotels. You always hear of rock stars dying in hotel rooms. When was the last time you heard of a rocker dying in a timeshare? And this post was not even sponsored by the timeshare industry.
  • Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers improved upon my idea and made a fortune. The song I had originally written was called "Monster Au Gratin."
  • You know Jay Z. changed his name just so he'd be the last one called on in class. Pretty obvious. 
 
  • Not everything translates well. I was in a Chinese restaurant the other day and I heard the cook singing "Sweet and Sour Home Alabama."
  • Trader Vic's standards have really gone down. I saw a werewolf in there the other day drinking a pina colada and his hair was far from perfect. In fact it was downright unkempt actually. Sad.
  • Man, Lynyrd Skynyrd was really pissed off at ole Neil Young. Personally, I think they need to develop thicker skyn about things like that.
 
  • I wonder if Mick Jagger knew that he was violating federal law when he went down to the Chelsea Drugstore to get someone else's prescription filled.
 
  • She wouldn't listen when I told her to stop talking. She just kept yammering away and telling me what to do. I grew more and more frustrated. I told her to stop, but she wouldn't. Finally, I hate to admit it, I lost my temper and slapper her. Damn GPS...
  • Is it just me or do people who you swear you never friended show up on your Facebook page? Mahmoud Amahdinejad keeps inviting me to hike with him near the Iran border. Weird.

5 comments:

  1. Maybe hotel rooms are getting revenge for the rock stars always smashing them up.

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  2. You are just a little bit disturbed; but then you are probably aware of that!

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  3. EVA GALLANT is wrong--you are MORE THAN A LITTLE disturbed!

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  4. Next time you communicate with Clooney, please tell him that he is more than welcome to call me...

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  5. That damn GPS one makes me laugh every time. And then I have to read it out loud to whomever is near me and watch them laugh.
    xoxox
    M-Cat

    ReplyDelete

The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!