Sunday, April 22, 2012

More LG Tweets... has a new format today, of which LG was not previously warned, so he's not sure how this post is going to look.  But he's forging ahead anyway.  Here are some of LG's better Tweets from the last few days (@LazarusNYC if you're interested in following; it's still free for a limited time only.) 

LG has some exciting news: Abe, aka "Cheeseboy" (author of the most excellent Blog O' Cheese, which is on a hiatus of some sort at the moment, TBD) is going to be the next LG Report interview subject.  

Stay tuned, it's coming at you soon...  In the meantime, enjoy these Tweets (or don't, but if you don't, there's really no need to comment. Thank you!)

If I were president of France, my pickup line would be "Hey ladies, come over here and let's get Sarkozy with each other!"

French presidential exit poll results:1 Sarkozy 2. Jerry Lewis 3. Someone else.

Elliott Spitzer's hologram was caught with a hooker.

The US government says that rather than return to the gold standard, we'll base our economy on a more precious commodity: HP ink cartridges.

I made fun on NBA player World Peace's name and he beat the crap out of me!

If I ever saw Seal on Easter Sunday I'd say "What's up Easter Seal?!" That would bust him. Then I'd donate money to charity to atone.

Weird request: When traveling overseas, Tiger Woods is now requesting Secret Service protection.

Sarah Palin's favorite countries in order: Africa, Paris and Big Sky.

In order to make amends, disgraced former politician Elliot Spitzer has enlisted in the Secret Service.

BREAKING: Secret Service fires director and cleans house; appoints Heidi Fleiss to lead organization.

I just saw Rosie O'Donnell's hologram eat three cheesesteaks.

We had a loud party and the police showed up at our house. That Sting is a really cool guy.

The greatest gynecologial novel of all time has to be Gustave Flaubert's "Madame Ovary."

Whenever I have an internet connectivity problem I call Al Gore directly.

If Godzilla ever invades Chicago, I'll bet Wrigley Field gets stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

Kid Rock is lucky that his parents didn't name him "Kid Big Band."

In Arkansas it's not clear if you're referring to electronics when you brag that you have Bluetooth.

Friendly's is expanding into France where it will be called Go Screw Yourselves.

I'm done procrastinating; heading down to Circuit City today to get my BetaMax fixed.

PUN ALERT: U.S. not allowed to keep track of how many terrorists it kills because there's an international tally ban.

I honestly thought it was a very speedy cocaine delivery service #Instagram

UH OH: University of Arkansas hires Hugh Hefner as new football coach.
If my name was Stewart Nodd I wouldn't allow people to refer to me as "Stew."

Call me old fashioned, but when I was single I wouldn't give a woman my Telex address until the third date.


  1. Pretty funny stuff, LG! Love the Friendly's/Go Screw Yourselves!!

  2. What's up Easter Seal? lol - very funny stuff my friend

  3. My favorite? You making fun of World Peace's name.

    So funny!

  4. Madame Ovary! Very good! I may have left my blog but hurray at last I get to come and enjoy yours more often now! xxx

  5. OK the procrastination one cracked me up. How are you and your lovely wife? I send you both big hugs!


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