LG had a really great idea for today's post...but he didn't get around to writing it. Thus, he's recycling some of his recent Twitter comments (or "Tweets" for those of you living under a rock) for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
The captain of the Costa Concordia admitted that he was using a Mayan compass.
Breaking: The Czech Republic, in order to seem more modern, is changing it's name to The Pay Pal Republic.
I said to manager of Home Depot: There's no mirror in the self-check out lane, how do you expect me to check myself out?
Breaking: Arizona accepts $20 million a year to rename state "Arizona Iced Tea." .......... Psych, no it didn't, early April Fool's!
If I were a physical therapist who was really into his job, I'd drive a PT Cruiser.
New campaign slogan: Newt Gingrich - Not as big a piece of crap as you thought!
This is year of the Dragon, was year of the pig in 2011 and in 2010 year of Rosie O'Donnell.
I got arrested for streaking thru Chinatown. Turns out it wasn't Chinese "nude" year, I mis-heard that one. Oops.
If we are what we eat, I just met a guy who must gorge himself on Prick Oven Pizza.
My wife says I spend 68% of my time on Twitter + Facebook. That's surprising, I forgot I had a wife.
Newt Gingrich is sponsoring a golf tourney in Georgia in honor of his marriage: The Atlanta Open.
If I could only invite one historical figure for Thanksgiving dinner it would be George Washington Carver.
Italian Coast Guard is seeking a way to raise a very heavy load that is on its side. They've contacted Rosie O'Donnell's personal trainer.
Gingrich = He drinks "Gin" and he's "Rich." Damn that extra "g" in the middle, ruins my joke.