Amsterdam, the Netherlands' largest city, is a very liberal enclave. It's legal to smoke pot and hash in "coffee shops," which are actually low-level drug dens (most don't serve any coffee at all). But customers are surprisingly well-behaved from what LG hears; of course he didn't go into one...as far as you know.
Prostitution is also legal in Amsterdam. In the city's Red Light District girls stand in small, neon-lit storefronts visually advertising their wares to potential customers. However, it's considered rude for tourists, or anyone else for that matter, to snap photos of these women, so LG complied with decorum -- even though certain readers of The LG Report (yes, you...) probably would've preferred a glimpse or two.
Here for your viewing pleasure is a sampling of LG's photos from Amsterdam:
This is a famous bridge in Amsterdam. Again, LG didn't bother learning the actual name (there's an art to being an Ugly Amerian Tourist) so let's just call it the George Washington Bridge. That's probably close to accurate.
This is a ship that looks suspiciously like Old Ironsides in Charlestown, Massachusetts. Since LG didn't bother learning the ship's real name (continuing theme), let's just call it Old Ironsides. See, U.S. culture does have a big impact around the world!
This is a tower in Amsterdam. The blue ball on top was a gift from the people of Elkhart, Indiana to symbolize the importance of the Indiana state high school basketball tournament and how parents like to get high and drink Crown Royal in the parking lot before big games. No, wait, LG just made that up, you're busted!. But the tower is, in fact, located in Amsterdam. You can figure out the rest of its significance on your own. That's what Google is for people. Leave LG alone.
Amsterdam is a polite city. Bar owners would like to gently remind you not to grope women's breasts in their bars. Or, possibly, this sign is reminding people not to wave hello to breasts in the bar. Or maybe it's asking patrons to refrain from high-fiving breasts. Better safe than sorry; just avoid doing any of the three.
This is a condom shop. The picture pretty much speaks for itself, you didn't need this explanation, did you? What are you doing still reading down here, you should be examining the hanging condoms and thinking how disgusting (or amusing) they are. Hey, it's all part of the culture, open your mind!
Same condom shop but with an artsy-looking (and therefor respectable) mannequin. And we do mean MANnequin. Ah, and look in the lower left, everyone's favorite comic book superhero, Condoman, providing protection for everyone! We hear that Charlie Sheen is starring in the movie version.
PS And if you're not a follower of The LG Report, please consider becoming one. The LG Report is trying to pass the 200 follower mark and is tantalizingly close. You could be the one to push us over the line...
Thanks for stopping by!