Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life. There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
We start by giving a shout-out to LG's blogging bud Abe, also known as "Cheeseboy," author of the very funny Blog O'Cheese. Cheeseboy posted a recap of his Facebook postings a while back and LG, always eager to steal a good idea, jumped on the bandwagon. Thus, below are some of LG's recent Facebook postings for your review.
On the Royal Wedding:
"Professional golfer Kevin Na carded a 16 on a par 4 hole yesterday on the PGA Tour. Finally, I can say that I golf like a pro!"
On Harry Potter:
A friend of LG's: "Harry Potter comes out tomorrow :) "
LG's response: "I knew he'd have to come out eventually, it was obvious!"
"When the U.S. government shuts, down I'm declaring myself president. Who wants to be my VP? But we must run an honest and principled government. We will only allow our friends to loot. If you copy this as your status, I will spare you from being thrown into a secret jail."
"Rumor: Gaddhafi has been captured and locked in a cell with a continuous loop playing the 1-800-CARS-4-KIDS commercial. He's expected to crack any minute."
On the Missouri Tornado: