The LG Report would like to thank all of the comely canines who entered this year's LG Report Cutest Dog Contest, and, of course, their "parents."
In our book, all the entrants are winners. You'd be hard pressed to find a collection of 14 cuter pooches than we had in this contest. More than 80 people cast ballots from every corner of the US and a number of foreign countries including England, China, Canada, Russia and Barkistan.
Ok, so there is no "Barkistan," you got me there. But if it did exist, the nation would be run by dogs. It would be a Canine-istocracy. The president would be Bark Obama and the vice president would be Joe "No" Bitin'. We're not sure who the Secretary of The Fence would be, but he'd keep the borders safe from intruders, like squirrels and cats. Nobody would want the job of Postmaster General, however, because everyone in the country would be chasing her around all day. The most popular TV show would be "Bones" [You thought we were going to say "Lassie" didn't you? Admit it, or there will be no snausage tonight...]
How far can we go with these bad puns and ridiculous analogies? Too far already you say? Check. We were barking up the wrong tree.
The Third Place Prize goes to a very learned pooch from Boston, none other than........Doc! Here's a photo of Doc, also known as "Docky," just minutes after he heard the news:
Doc had to be called out of surgery to be told of his great accomplishment. "I'm so excited that I'm going to go to Disneyland and hump something!" was all that he could say.
Doc will be receiving a nice bag of treats in the mail which, no doubt, he'll share with his brother Herbie, who also garnered many votes. Congrats Docky!
The Second Place Prize goes to a former politician from Upstate New York, the incomparable Lilly! Here's a photo of Lilly celebrating in some leaves after being told of her impressive showing:
Lilly is reportedly thinking of throwing her collar into the ring for the upcoming New York gubernatorial race, but she refused to comment on the rumor for this posting.
"Right now, I'm just looking forward to settling back with my bag of treats." Congrats Lilly!
Now for the moment we've all been awaiting, the crowning of The LG Report's 2010 Cutest Dog Contest Champion. Drumstick roll please....
It was a close contest...decided by less than 2% of the vote...and the winner is: Skipper!
Here we see Skipper enjoying her new status as The Cutest Dog with one of her favorite stuffed toys. That's the champion's medal around her neck. Skipper, who is 13 and 1/2 years old (that's 94 and 1/2 years old in dog's years, we'll save you the math.)
There was, however, a minor incident at the awards ceremony. While Skipper was on stage accepting her award and giving her acceptance speech, a rival dog jumped in to claim that another canine deserved the prize. The intruder was, of course, Kanye Westie.
So that wraps it up folks, thanks again to all the participants and voters. You're all winners in our book. Bags of treats will be in the mail shortly to prize winners.
Be sure to check back later this week for the conclusion of the gripping, near-death story "My Old Man and the Sea." And thanks again for reading The LG Report, we appreciate it!