Sunday, March 14, 2010

Miscellaneous Pix

Dear LG Report Reader,

No, we haven't forgotten that you're awaiting the gripping conclusion of "My Old Man and the Sea," it's just taking a bit longer than originally anticipated.  It's difficult to complete a story when continually breaking into a cold sweat and vomiting.  We're now on our third keyboard.  It should, however, be up by Tuesday night.  Wednesday at the latest.  Honest.  If it's not worth the wait, we'll refund everyone's subscription fees...

In the meantime, we're cleaning out the Blackberry photo file, alway an enjoyable exercise.

This is Chloe.  She lives in Houston.  She's licking her lips at the prospect of winning a bag of treats in The LG Report's Cutest Dog Contest.  Unfortunately, LG forgot to include Chloe's photo in the contest.  It was submitted on time, but wound up languishing in e-mail limbo, somewhere between inheritance notices from Nigeria and "Send This Back to Me if You Love Me" chain e-mails.  So Chloe was inadvertently omitted.  We'll send her something nice with our Nigerian inheritance.  But only if she writes back within 24 hours and says she loves us.  She is a cutie though...


This is Landon.  He was at Luigi's second birthday party last week. Luigi is LG's godson. Landon was enjoying his cake, even though half of it was still on his lips waiting to be eaten.  He obviously is a good saver for a rainy day, and will most likely grow up to be very prosperous.  Look for him to become the CEO of Hotwheels some day.  Or Hostess.   


Are you familiar with national food critic and television host Guy Fieri ("Diners, Dives and Drive-Ins," among other shows?)  We'll this is not him, although there is a strong resemblance.  This is my cousin Larry. That visor he's wearing?  It has fake hair built in; $5.00 at Walgreen's.  Get yourself one now before you really need it.

Yes, this is what it has come to on The LG Report.     

This is my friend Linda from Connecticut and her friend Consuelo from Madrid.  Conseulo, who composes chamber music and teaches in her home country, came to the states recently to see one of her pieces performed at Carnegie Deli Hall.  Since you're not a big chamber music fan (don't lie), I can make up any name I want for her piece and you won't know the difference.  It was called "NASCAR, Chicken Wings and My Baroque-n Heart."  It brought the house down.

Linda just released a CD on which she sings and plays instruments.  Yes, for real.  It's called "Karma" and it's very good.  Linda's music calls to mind Joni Mitchell, among others.  You can listen to Karma - and buy it if you'd like - by clicking here to visit her website.  I don't have the chamber music website, just ask a NASCAR fan for it.  Each CD comes with a 40-ouncer Bud.

This is the Epiphany CYO basketball team (in dark blue.)  They are the Manhattan 2010 CYO Champions in the sixth-grade division.  Yesterday, they played for the CYO Championship of the entire New York Archdiocese, which includes Staten Island, The Bronx and Westchester.  We're proud to announce that the team... is still the Manhattan 2010 CYO champs.  Their opponents in the archdiocese championship game were bigger and more physically developed.  The LG Report became suspicious when many of the other team's members had to go outside at the half to move their cars to the alternate side of the street.  Whenever my team loses, you can be sure that the other team cheated.  

This is Geo at the Epiphany game.  His son Henry is one of the team's stars.  Geo is so old that any picture taken of him automatically comes out in black and white.  The woman on the left had no connection to the game, she was merely another Geo groupie.

This is my cousin's son, Christopher.  He got into the act with the fake-hair visor the other day.  I'll be teaching him tons of tricks better than this one when he gets older.  But one day he'll look back on this photo and realize that this is where it all started. 

Internet surveys show that people are more likely to return to a blog when they associate it with thoughts of immature foolishness and fun.  Even without this photo, we think that we have that base covered.  Adios until next time....


  1. WTF?! I was looking forward to the exciting conclusion of "My Old Man and the Sea"! Even though I lived through the incident, the post-traumatic stress syndrome that I contracted has caused some amnesia. I'm sure there was some underwear staining, even now. My God, it's all coming back to me.

  2. Um, Larry that was the 6th grade team


The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!