So let's get started. Grab your assigned seat, leave your gift of an Apple (iPad) on the teacher's desk, and prepare to get your learn on. No dipping pony tails in the official HP ink cartridges (they cost $45 each).
This is Nigeria. It's in Africa. The retirement funds of a lot of American people are in Nigeria at the moment, although not many Americans are with them. If you're currently awaiting a large inheritance from a previously-unknown Nigerian relative, please consider investing in The LG Report's upcoming IPO. We promise to use proper English when soliciting your money.
This is France. The French don't like you. They don't even like you looking at a map of their perfect country. Get your dirty, hairy, low-class American eyeballs off this map. Move it along before we call a gendarme...
This is China. Everything that's touching your body right now was made in China. Everything that you buy in the next year will be from China. If you adopt a child, he or she will be Chinese. The next take-out food you order will be Chinese. In fact, this caption was written by an outsourced Chinese freelance writer (which explains why it's not that funny; he was intentionally holding back to protect his country.)
This is Greece.
This is Mexico. Just looking at a photo of it is dangerous.
This is an aerial view of Canada, as seen from NASA's American-made Pioneer YRT-983 satellite. Yes, we just made up that satellite designation, but Canadians won't know. However, that's really how Canada looks from outer space. The Canadian capital city, North Pole, is designated by the puck. Not visible: All the igloos.
This was really the only photo to represent Sweden that we could find. Seriously.
This is Florida. Designated in green, orange and yellow are the counties where the majority of residents are slow-driving, early-buffet-arriving, government-complaining, blue-haired retirees from Up North. Don't laugh, you'll live here for part of the year some day.
That's it folks, today's geography lesson from The LG Report. We hope that we didn't offend anyone, but if you're actually annoyed by something on this blog, you need to reassess your emotional stability. Or just move to Florida now.
We hope to see you back here again soon!