Tuesday, November 23, 2010

One Nation Under Starbuck$

We don't know if you've noticed, but many of those stores that advertise "We Buy Gold, Highest Prices Paid!" are now buying Starbuck$ drinks because, on a per-ounce basis, Starbuck$ liquids cost more.  A lot more.

One of LG's strategies in offsetting the high price of Starbuck$ drinks (besides the obvious: don't purchase them, which nobody in America seems to be able to do...) is to grab at least a week's worth of free napkins for his home on the way out the door.  Sometimes, if none of the fancily-named Baristas are paying attention, LG will also grab a chair or small table to take with him.  Hey, there's no price tag on them, they must be free too!  It seems to LG that the profit margin of one of their "vente" lattes takes into account the stealing of a chair.  LG's next ploy may be to build a house out of the free coffee stirrers.   

Starbuck$ took its name from Starbuck, the first mate on the Pequod, the main ship in Herman Melville's great American novel "Moby Dick."  That's a fact, Jack.  Note: many people erroneously think that the character Starbuck was known for drinking a lot of coffee in the book.  That's not true.  At least not according to the Cliff Notes.  That was a good enough source of information for you in college, why stop relying on it now?

Here's a map of where Starbuck$ stores are located in the United States.  The light gray area shows where an actual Starbuck$ is located (the dark gray outlined areas show the boundaries of Starbuck$ sales districts):

A team of NASA astronomers recently discovered that there are now more Starbuck$ locations in the world than there are stars in the universe.

We'll leave you with a couple of Starbuck$-related images:

A typical line of Starbuck$ patrons awaiting their morning cup of Joe.  There are two more Starbuck$ across the street.  

There's enough scratch here to buy a vente latte for yourself and two more for your friends!

That's it for today folks.  Please check back again soon, we have a lot in store, including, from Maine, the next installment of our LG Report 50-State Interview Series (And you thought we forgot about that, didn't you? Sorry, no...)  

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


  1. Hey LG. What's wrong with your Starbucks map? Isn't Hawaii part of the United States? We have our fair share of Starbucks too!


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