Thursday, May 26, 2011

Nuptials Near...

Regular readers of The LG Report know that LG's wedding date is fast approaching. Very fast.

Many years ago, one of LG's friends was standing at the alter of a Catholic church awaiting his future wife at the start of their wedding ceremony. 

Just as the beautiful bride reached the top of the aisle and was about to embark upon her father-escorted walk to the alter, my buddy's best man whispered to him "Hey, John, just remember, there's only one thing worse than being alone when you're old."

"What's that?" asked John.

"Wishing you were alone!"  

That story comes to mind far more often than LG would like to admit when contemplating marriage.

Ah, but that exchange was just an attempt at humor by the best man.  It wasn't genuine advice.  And, in fact, John and his wonderful bride are still married today, almost 20 years later. 

Still, there's a teeny, tiny, microscopic little bit of LG that fears that this is what he's getting into:

When, in reality, he'd like to be signing on for this:

But let's face it men, nobody gets to sign on for the above in the real world.

Truth be told, LG is marrying the love of his life and couldn't be happier.  He's not sure how much, if any, of the wedding and reception will be chronicled in The LG Report.  That issue has to be discussed with his new life partner; LG is sensitive to the process of joint decision making now that he'll be one-half of a married couple -- especially since he's violated the rule a few times already! 

But whatever is decided, this is what LG expects his marriage to be like:
 Thanks, as always, for stopping by!



  1. aw, so nice & happy! i like the figurines you picked for your pics here. the dude in the dog collar looks shmexay down on all fours like that.

  2. Having been married for 28 years, I can testify that it's not always easy, but definitely worth the effort!

    Blogger keeps saying I'm anonymous, but don't you believe it!

    Eva at Wrestling with Retirement.

  3. Love the wedding dolls! The bride in the second pic has one of those "Yes, darling, you go and play golf...just see what happens mwahahahahahahaha" evil grins on her face - awesome :)

  4. If Hubby tried to practise the last picture - he'd pull his back, I'm such a heffalump!
    LG I'm sure you and your lovely bride to be will have a wonderful life together. You now know all the sneaky tricks we women get up to thanks to reading my blog so you are prepared. I'm going to take one second to be serious (Yep, that doesn't happen very often) and wish you a wonderful wedding day and a very happy life.) Now I'm off to nag at Hubby. He doesn't know I've changed his Abba CD for The Wu-Tang Clan yet and I can't wait to see his face when he turns the car cd on...
    Hugs and bucketloads of confetti
    p.s. Got my hankie ready - sniff. I love a good cry at a wedding.

  5. It is the phrase "love of my life" that tells the story. No snarky comment, here. I married my love over 21 years ago. He is still the "love of my life," and I think each one of life's challenges has strengthened that. Congratulations to you and Mrs. LG!!

  6. I am so happy for you and the future Mrs. LG!!! Marriage is great! Sometimes I give HOB a clean towel to use just because he's made my breakfast right for once.

  7. I wish you both much happiness. A good marriage takes lots of effort on both parts but it's just so worth it.

  8. Oh that's so adorable! Marraige, like anything, is what you make of it. As long as communication is open, you can accomplish and enjoy whatever you wish. Cheers!

  9. Good luck! I love the cake-toppers. Please tell me you got fun ones like this, too.


  10. Aww! Wishing you and your bride much happiness, LG. I can only imagine how much fun the reception will be...


  11. That last one is EXACTLY what it was like for me too. And then the second year started.

  12. It's Saturday morning - it's all over, come on. Get back online now and post...the honeymoon must be over by now. Ours only lasted twenty-seven minutes!

  13. COngrats LG! I don't see you being the dog collar kind of husband, nor would you pick a woman who would enjoy leashing you.

    The woman with her arms crossed is pissed, but smiling. Look out. That's the worst kind.

    You will be the third figurine. Happy honeymoon. I am on year 19 with Special Agent. And I am keeping him.

  14. I am wishing you and Mrs. Lazarus the very best!!! I hope she won't mind you sharing a bit with us: I find real life makes the most fertile blog soil, if you know what I mean.

    Hoping to get to know her a bit better, as you continue to regale us with your incorrigible wit and humor.

    My Big Bison has changed my life, in every way for the better, and that's the kind of blessing I wish for you and Mrs. LG.

    Much love,

    Susan in the Boonies

  15. Congrats, LG! Wishing you a wonderful marriage!

  16. Hi and congrats! Heard you got married from Carol but I guess this is an earlier post since the first blog is a picture of you and your lovely new wife! Best of wishes and remember it's not a 50/50 deal. Happy couples each give 100% of themselves to the others happiness.. Thanks for following me. I will be following back.


The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!