Wednesday, May 11, 2011


A number of people left nice comments about The LG's Report's Mother's Day post, so I'm providing a short follow up.

I could probably write a full book about my mother, but that'll have to wait for another day.

My mother was very smart (she skipped two grades in school), and she had a lot of good life wisdom to dispense, although I didn't take much of it seriously when I was younger.  I thought that I already knew it all.  Despite my perceived superiority, the gods always seemed to be on my mother's side.  I remember an incident, when I was about 12 years old, when I became upset with something my mother said while we were both standing in the kitchen. I don't even remember what the issue was anymore, nothing earth shattering, I'm sure.  Anyway, although I was normally not this insolent as a child, I said to her "Well you can just go to Hell!"  I then turned to storm off, not realizing that the cabinet door under the sink was open.  I immediately walked into the door and did a Dick-Van-Dyke-type flip completely over onto my back.  As I laid on the kitchen floor staring up at my mother, she simply said "See, God got you for that" and walked out of the room.  

To say that my mother was a very competitive person would be an understatement (although the apple didn't fall far from the tree with me in that regard.)  We used to have epic - absolutely EPIC - battles over the Scrabble board.  She was great at coming up with little-known words, although sometimes I would bust her when she got a little too creative ("Well it should be in the dictionary if it's not," she would say.)  Needless to say, the dictionary got a lot of use during our games.  

One time I was desperate to beat her, and, I hate to admit, I resorted to turning over a lettered tile so that it appeared blank in order to make a game-winning word.  My mother didn't notice that there was an extra blank tile on the board as I folded it up and claimed victory.

I did eventually confess to that indiscretion, although, I must admit, it was while delivering my mother's eulogy in front of a packed church in 1993.  Still, I feel certain that she heard me and chalked up another "W" for herself in our Scrabble rivalry (she was well ahead anyway, so it really made no difference...)

Pretty much every day, at some point, I think of something that my mother said or did when she was alive.  When I was dating my college girlfriend in the mid-1980s, my mother told me that this particular girl was "...the best thing that ever happened to you."

Of course I didn't listen, and I failed to put enough effort into the relationship.  I know this because my college girlfriend broke up with me on New Year's Eve in 1985.

I'm happy to report, however, that 26 years after she dumped me, my college girlfriend and I will be getting married, at the end of this month.

It just goes to show you, you're never too old to take your mother's advice.      

And somewhere up above, my mother is smiling down, now being one Scrabble game victory and one awesome daughter-in-law richer.


  1. What a wonderful story, Lazarus! Your Mother was most definitely a truly remarkable woman and clearly very, very loved. I'm so happy to hear your fiance was your college girlfriend! When you shared your Mum's words on that, my very first thought was, "Oh, No! What will his fiance say?" and you won't believe how huge my smile was when you followed it up with the revelation that she IS your college girlfriend of old :) That has to be the most beautiful story and bodes so well for a long and happy married life! Once again, my sincere congratulations to you both :) I KNOW your Mother is smiling down broadly on the two of you!!!

  2. Congratulations! That's so cool to be marrying your college sweetheart! I can just envision your mother smiling about it!

  3. I think your mother and my mother would have gotten along famously! My mom is an expert Scrabbler.

    Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding. Very cool! :)

  4. Awwwww, LG!! What a great post AND great news! Take us to the wedding. Please? Please????

  5. Oh, gosh, what a hilarious, sweet post! God DID get you for that!!! LOL! And picking out the right girl for you? I'm smiling ear from ear. Your Mom sounds awesome!

  6. Laz, Mother knows best and the cabinet door only further bolsters that truth. I, like you, had to learn that little tidbit the hard way.

  7. Awwww, I love this LG, as I knew I would. The mere fact that you described your mom as being competitive had me loving her! And don't worry you little cheater, she knew! Mothers know everything!
    Oh,and I love the story about how you will be marrying your college sweetheart after all these years. I love a happy ending!

  8. I once through a Scrabble board across the room after the 40th time my wife beat me in a row. We don't play Scrabble anymore.

    Moms do know best. Except for that Kate Plus 8 lady. She knows less than most.

  9. What an awesome story!


The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!