Friday, October 29, 2010

Trailblazer Trailblazer

[Please, no outside food, drink or blog posts allowed into The LG Report.  Thank you.]

LG can be a trailblazer at times, as he was yesterday with his sister's Chevy Trailblazer.  Allow LG to explain.

This is not MIG's actual car but it's similar.  The LG Report
doesn't publish photos of people's actual cars.

LG's sister MIG is a very generous person, as proven again recently when she loaned LG her 2004 Chevy Trailblazer to move some big items.  LG has a small convertible, into which a loaf of bread barely fits.  One of those big French loaves you see hanging out of everyone's grocery bag in Paris would stick out the window of LG's car.  There must be a law in France that requires every grocery bag to contain a big loaf of bread.

As fate would have it, the driver's side low-beam headlight burned out while the car was in LG's custody. The headlights go on automatically, so don't try to blame it on LG's rough handling of the headlight switch or anything along those lines.  These things just happen.

Those of you who have tried to change on headlight on any car newer than 1990, know that it's not the easiest thing to do.  It's not like the old days when you just unscrewed a frame and popped out the bulb and put a new one in.  It's much more complex.  And costly, of course.

LG's first step was to consult the Owner's Manual.  It provided instructions for changing a tail light, but warned that any other lights on the car would have to be changed by a dealer.  Translation:  Chevy wants the dealer to make more money off of you

Fortunately, LG doesn't get bossed around by Owner's Manuals.  In fact, he rarely consults them.

You already know this is the Google
logo, why are you reading the caption?
Next step: LG typed "Changing a headlight on a Chevy Trailblazer" into Google, where he received step-by-step instructions.  The guy made it sound easy; said it could be done in less than five minutes.

Next Step:  LG went to the auto parts store to get a replacement bulb.  Possibly the most ignored sign in America is the one at every auto parts store that says "No Repairs Allowed in Parking Lot."  Yeah, sure.  People jack up their cars and change the transmission in most of these parking lots, never mind the myriad of smaller repairs that take place.  When it comes to being disregarded, that sign is right up there with "All Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work" and "Please don't tip the blogger."    

This is not the actual bulb, LG didn't have the
presence of mind to take a photo of it at
the time, but it's a reasonable facsimile.

This particular auto parts store smelled very auto-partsy, as if someone had just changed their oil on the counter.  The Counter Guy, a skeletal figure who, LG believes, could've crawled through an exhaust pipe, consulted his all-knowing computer and, thankfully, they had the replacement bulb.  It cost LG $566.54 (not really, but MIG reads the blog and LG wants her to think that he really splurged...)

LG then went home and opened the hood to begin the replacement process.  There wasn't much room to maneuver in there.  It seemed like a robotic arm would be necessary to do this job.  LG is sure the Chevy Dealer has an expensive robotic arm back in the service area (insurance regulations don't allow you to go back there however...)  LG tried to get his hand where it needed to be but it looked hopeless.  LG's arm got stuck, momentarily, and all LG could imagine was the fire department showing up with the Jaws Of Life to free him.  That would've been embarassing.  LG would rather walk around with a Chevy Trailblazer stuck on his arm than have the firemen use the Jaws of Life in such a ridiculous way.  It would be an insult to the Jaws of Life inventor.  After a few minutes, LG gave up.

Sophie with her "Are there any more
treats left?" look.  Actually, all of
her looks say that.
Back on MIG's deck, LG sat eating lunch, figuring that he'd have to tell her to take it to the dealer.   Just then, MIG's dog Sophie gave LG one of those "You're not going to give up that easily, are you?" looks.  You know the one.  So LG gave it one more try.  Miraculously, he slipped his hand in and was able to remove the rubber outer bulb housing (sorry, we don't mean to get technical here.)  Then LG twisted the thingamajigger and removed the doohickey component.  After that, he replaced the Langstrom Sprocket Feeder while he was in there just for good measure.  All in all, it took LG less than five minutes, just as the Google Guy had said.

Let's recap some of the last 50 years' great scientific achievements:

1. Man on moon;
2. Invention of internet; and
3. LG changes Chevy Trailblazer headlight.

LG feels strongly that he and the Google guy are the only two non-dealers to ever successfully change a headlight on a Chevy Trailblazer.  He's a real Trailblazer trailblazer.

Thanks for stopping by, we hope to see you back again soon!

Sorry Mr. Heinrich, your robotic arm didn't reach into LG's pocket this time!

1 comment:

  1. I'm surprised the dealer hasn't figured out a way to make it impossible to take the headlight cover off without a special tool only dealers have. Kind of like how only the dealer knows the secret code for turning off the Check Engine light.


The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!