Criminal Assistance Program

Let's say your kids are really starting to bug you.  And we mean REALLY starting to bug you, to the point where you wouldn't mind if someone would take them off your hands for a while. 

You, know, like kidnapping them. 

What would be the best way to go about getting it done?  Well, a good start would be to advertise their availability like this:

As we can see, while daddy is off working and mom is enjoying her shopping time, the kids are playing field hockey and football.  There are also two dogs waiting to be snatched in the yard.  What an excellent advertising campaign!

Here's another one.  This diagram would lead one to believe that mommy and daddy sleep upstairs while Junior is downstairs with the dog.  These decals are made of a special static-cling material so that Junior's image will come off in a jiffy when he gets snatched.

What a thoughtful way to help kidnappers find their prey!  That's why we call it the CAP: Criminal Assistance Program. 

In this household, it looks like we have two women, one who loves to garden (we picked up the subtle clue) and one who loves to shop.  Or is it two sides of the same woman?  She/They also have two dogs and a cat.  We guess they ran out of "Loves to post idiotic decals on her car" decals. 

Displaying these decals, like skateboarding, should be a crime.

PS: Geo's wife Anne played a major role in inspiring this posting; she's the most vocal anti-family-decals-on-car-windows opponent we know...

PS 2.0:  If any of your faithful LG Report readers have similar stickers on your car, rest assured that we're not making fun of you so please don't stop reading because of this posting...thanks!