"Photos of the Week? I've never seen that on The LG Report before," you're saying to yourself.
It's a new feature, which may actually be weekly, or not. We'll see. Just roll with it.
Sometime in the not-too-distant future, Political Correctness will totally engulf our society. PC-ness will swallow us whole, like a python devouring a field mouse. At that point, you won't be able to talk about, ask about, refer to, or in any way acknowledge any differences between people. When that occurs, and we are no longer allowed to inquire as to one's gender, The LG Report has the perfect question to glean that information without being overtly non-PC. Here is it:
Have you ever, at any time and under any circumstances, paid for one or more items at a cash register by writing a check?
Here's the Teacher's Edition Answer Key: If the response is "Yes," you're dealing with a woman. If the response is "No," then your specimen is man. Simple as that.
This brings us to our first Photo of the Week:
I've never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever seen a man write a check in a store. If you have, please post a comment exposing said man and we'll drum him out of the gender at our next meeting.
Next Photo of the Week:
This was taken at a carwash at the Jersey Shore. There are laws against false advertising. I looked extensively in the vicinity of this vacuum and could not find a bathroom, so I don't know what this sign was referring to, unless urinating in public is suddenly legal. Maybe it was directing patrons to that bed of rocks in the background?
Finally, our last Photo of the Week:
Come on, seriously. Seriously? "Mountain Charge?" ShopRite, you're better than that. Why not just call it "Mountain Doo." I assume the clever-niks who came up with this one thought that consumers would associate the "charge" with the jolt that Mountain Dew's high caffeine content gives a person. Although, maybe the "charge" is meant to convey how customers should pay for it. If that's the case, then to attract female consumers they should've named it "Mountain Check Writing."
That's it for today folks. I'm here all week. Please take care of your waitresses and bartenders!