Most readers of The LG Report know that I am an internationally-renown honorable man. But just in case some still have some doubts, please allow me to show you an e-mail that I recently received (my commentary is in brackets for your edification).
FROM MR GEORGE PADMORE. [Coincidentally, I know many people in the business world who, before submitting expense reports, pad more]
HSBC is a real bank, logo at right, so this must be legitimate, although usually the CEO contacts me, not people in the "Packaging and Courier Department."]
Curiously, I thought my contact info would only be visible to "Females Seeking Males" on the personal search] AND WAS INSPIRED TO SEEK YOUR CO-OPERATION I WANT YOU TO HELP ME CLEAR THIS PACKAGE THAT IS ALREADY IN AMERICA WHICH I SHIPPED THROUGH OUR HSBC ACCREDITED COURIER AGENT BUT THE CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGE IS $20,000,000.00 ALL IN $100.00 BILLS [I'm glad it's not in pennies], BUT THE COURIER COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW THAT IT IS MONEY THAT I HAVE IN THE PACKAGE. [ 1. I'm sure no courier company would suspect that a bank was sending money in a package; and 2. Wow, Mr. Padmore must've been in a hurry, he wrote a run-on sentence lacking almost all punctuation marks, this man means business!]
ALL I WANT YOU TO DO FOR ME NOW IS THIS, FILL THIS AND GET BACK TO ME, AND I HOPE THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU WILL HAVE 30% AND 70% WILL BE FOR ME [You only "hope" that? I guess I'm free to rip you off and only give you 65% or less of the loot. What a trusting guy!]
 Full Names:
 Contact address:
 Direct Teleph
 Date of birth:
IF THIS ARRANGEMENT IS OKAY BY YOU [Sorry, I'll need more than $6 million to open boxes and send you the money, otherwise it's not worth it to me], YOU CAN CALL OR E-MAIL ME, FOR SECURITY REASONS OTHER MODALITIES [Nice word, seldom used] WILL BE DISCUSSED AS SOON AS YOU GET BACK TO ME INCLUDING SENDING OF THE KEYS TO THE BOXES TO YOU [I'm sure that I can spend some of the $20 million to get the boxes opened without the keys, but thanks.]
NOTE: COMMUNICATION SHOULD BE STRICTLY THROUGH MY PRIVATE E-MAIL AND PHONE FOR SECURITY REASONS + 44 704 575 3662. [Using the + sign tells me that you really are European and this is for real, now I'm starting to spend my $6 million.]
PLEASE SEND ALL REPLY [That should be "replies," in the plural; I can't believe such an ignorant guy is about to earn $14 million] TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS FOR MORE SECURITY REASONS : firstname.lastname@example.org.
YOURS FAITHFULLY [We haven't even met and you're faithful to me already, this is a good relationship!],
Mr George Padmore.
+ 44 704 575 3662.
PLEASE NOTE: After I sent Mr. Padmore all of the requested information (I'm not dumb enough to post it on this blog for all of you readers to see), I sat back and cracked open a bottle of my favorite spring water, all the while contemplating my fortune-to-be....