My Ship Comes In (Again....)

Most readers of The LG Report know that I am an internationally-renown honorable man.  But just in case some still have some doubts, please allow me to show you an e-mail that I recently received (my commentary is in brackets for your edification).
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FROM MR GEORGE PADMORE. [Coincidentally, I know many people in the business world who, before submitting expense reports, pad more]


DEAREST FRIEND

I KNOW THIS WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE BECAUSE YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. I AM MR GEORGE PADMORE, I WORK IN HSBC BANK LONDON, PACKAGING AND COURIER DEPARTMENT. [HSBC is a real bank, logo at right, so this must be legitimate, although usually the CEO contacts me, not people in the "Packaging and Courier Department."] 

I GOT YOUR CONTACT FROM FROM MY PERSONAL SEARCH [Curiously, I thought my contact info would only be visible to "Females Seeking Males" on the personal search] AND WAS INSPIRED TO SEEK YOUR CO-OPERATION I WANT YOU TO HELP ME CLEAR THIS PACKAGE THAT IS ALREADY IN AMERICA WHICH I SHIPPED THROUGH OUR HSBC ACCREDITED COURIER AGENT BUT THE CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGE IS $20,000,000.00 ALL IN $100.00 BILLS [I'm glad it's not in pennies], BUT THE COURIER COMPANY DOES NOT KNOW THAT IT IS MONEY THAT I HAVE IN THE PACKAGE. [ 1.  I'm sure no courier company would suspect that a bank was sending money in a package; and 2. Wow, Mr. Padmore must've been in a hurry, he wrote a run-on sentence lacking almost all punctuation marks, this man means business!] 

ALL I WANT YOU TO DO FOR ME NOW IS THIS, FILL THIS AND GET BACK TO ME, AND I HOPE THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU WILL HAVE 30% AND 70% WILL BE FOR ME [You only "hope" that?  I guess I'm free to rip you off and only give you 65% or less of the loot.  What a trusting guy!]

[1] Full Names:

[2] Contact address:

[3] Direct Teleph

[4] Date of birth:

[5] Occupation:

IF THIS ARRANGEMENT IS OKAY BY YOU [Sorry, I'll need more than $6 million to open boxes and send you the money, otherwise it's not worth it to me], YOU CAN CALL OR E-MAIL ME, FOR SECURITY REASONS OTHER MODALITIES [Nice word, seldom used] WILL BE DISCUSSED AS SOON AS YOU GET BACK TO ME INCLUDING SENDING OF THE KEYS TO THE BOXES TO YOU [I'm sure that I can spend some of the $20 million to get the boxes opened without the keys, but thanks.]

NOTE: COMMUNICATION SHOULD BE STRICTLY THROUGH MY PRIVATE E-MAIL AND PHONE FOR SECURITY REASONS + 44 704 575 3662. [Using the  +  sign tells me that you really are European and this is for real, now I'm starting to spend my $6 million.]

PLEASE SEND ALL REPLY [That should be "replies," in the plural; I can't believe such an ignorant guy is about to earn $14 million] TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS FOR MORE SECURITY REASONS : georgepadmore62@yahoo.com.hk.

YOURS FAITHFULLY [We haven't even met and you're faithful to me already, this is a good relationship!],

Mr George Padmore.

+ 44 704 575 3662.
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PLEASE NOTE: After I sent Mr. Padmore all of the requested information (I'm not dumb enough to post it on this blog for all of you readers to see),  I sat back and cracked open a bottle of my favorite spring water, all the while contemplating my fortune-to-be....