Thursday, September 2, 2010

Thursday's Thoughts

The LG Report is going to offer up a variety of unrelated thoughts today, the Thursday leading into the Labor Day weekend , so sit back and enjoy.  Or hunch up close to the screen, if your eyesight is going.  Either way, we want you to enjoy.  

Last Saturday, LG had occasion to drop off a student for freshman year of college.  Don't ask why, it's none of your business.  As LG's mother used to say, "Whaddaya writing a book?" (long before LG actually did write a book, but the book isn't about whatever LG was asking her at the time.)  She'd always follow it with "Leave that chapter out."  

Anyway, walking past a fraternity house on the main drag where parents drive their kids onto campus, LG encountered the fellow pictured above; a slimmer, younger version of John Belushi (he doesn't really look like Belushi, but you get the idea.)  His sign said "Thank you fathers for your daughters."  At least it was spelled correctly and he was polite enough to say "Thank you."  The girl on the left offered LG a cup of beer and said "I didn't put a roofie in it."  That was very considerate of her.  Our American educational system is churning out the winners alright!  P.S. Notice the budding Roger Ebert on the right, signifying his approval of the sign's wording.  I think he was wearing 3D glasses.

This is Paulie and Mike.  They are barkeeps at Pete and Elda's, one of the best Italian restaurants you'll ever encounter (it's in Neptune City, NJ.)  Pete and Elda's is world-renown for its thin-crust pizza.  Go to Egypt, Nepal, Switzerland, South Africa and Australia and ask anyone who they think makes the best thin-crust pizza.  If you come back to me and say, "Nobody there has ever heard of Pete and Elda's," LG will say to you "Well, at least you got to visit some nice countries." 

Paulie and Mike are among the best barkeeps ever.  Is LG angling for a free drink?  Whaddaya writing a book?  Leave that chapter out.

People approach LG all the time -- on the red carpet, backstage, in First Class and while his Bentley is stuck at a light and say "Oh LG, you are so funny.  How did you get to such a good sense of humor, what do you eat to fuel your comedy?" LG finally decided to reveal his secret.  This is what LG consumes for breakfast almost every day:

So now you know.

Did you hear that The Discovery Channel debuted a new reality show today?  It's called "The Deadliest Hostage Stand-Off."  LG just made that one up.  Too soon?  Or just not funny enough?

That's it for today folks, click back in soon (like every few hours or thereabouts...)   Thanks!


No comments:

Post a Comment

The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!