The LG Report Gives In To The Madmen

As you might imagine, were you to waste any time actually thinking about something like this, most of the major media outlets (NY Times, CNN, USA Today, Dog Fancy Magazine) want to purchase The LG Report.  As the people at Dog Fancy said, "We want to make you our bitch."  The others didn't put it so nicely.

And we're talking big buck$ here, in the tens of dollars.  So LG was poised to sell out (while maintaining complete editorial control, of course...) when a snag arose. 

The prospective buyer wanted some "market research" (insert visual of "air quotes" made by Chris Farley with his fingers back in his Saturday Night Live days).  This prospective purchaser wanted information on our "demographics" and our "reader loyalty."  So we caved in and hired a high-priced Madison Avenue market research firm to do a hidden camera "focus group."  This company clandestinely observed many of our readers as they perused The LG Report.   Yes, you were probably among them.  And no, we won't say anything to anyone about your underwear. 

We haven't seen the final report yet, but here's a video clip that our Madmen are telling us is a very representative sample of their research:

[Editor's Note: No animals or human beings were harmed in the making of this video.]
So there you have it folks, hopefully you feel the same way as this typical reader.  Thanks for checking in, see you again soon!