Wednesday, August 4, 2010

LG Report Exclusive: Fidel Castro is Living in the U.S.!

...but before we get to the news on old Fidel, a bit of blogospheric housekeeping.

You might not know my friend Pat.  And if you do, forget you know him.  He works for a top-secret branch of the government.  You've heard of this organization if you watched the old TV show starring Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. but I'm not going to say the name.  I'd be investigated, castigated and busticated.

You can look up those last two. 

Anyway, Pat e-mailed me from "someplace in the Midwest," where he was on assignment, to say that he had been so bored that he scrolled through a bunch of LG Reports and found them to be below our normal standard of humor.  He graciously attributed this to the mid-summer intellectual lull -- and doldrums -- that hit everyone.  I'll agree with that, why not?  He also suggested that we open up The LG Report to guest bloggers. In truth, it has always been open to guest bloggers, but only "Mr. Peevey" has taken advantage of the forum, once. 

So if you have a beef, a joke, a rant, an opinion or anything else that would move you to write a guest blog for The LG Report, just send it along to   Unless it's crazy bad, or obscene, it'll get published right here on these hallowed e-pages.  Let's see what you're packin' kids....

Now, to Fidel. 

When my family first moved to Neptune City, NJ in 1974, our local ice cream truck driver was a guy named "Sunny."  He drove one of those trucks with a bunch of external freezer compartments which he'd reach into based upon the treat you ordered.  Here's what that truck looked like in 1974:

The weird thing is, this picture was taken today.  His truck is in the same exact condition 36 years later.  And so is Sunny.  Something is going on here.  Pat, are you reading this?  Please investigate...

The other day, as Sunny drove by my sister's house, I thought that I should do a blog posting about his timelessness, but I missed the opportunity to get a photo. 

Today, as fate would have it, I came across Sunny's truck as I was riding my bicycle.  Pretending that I had to stop to make a cell phone call, I snapped the shot above and this one as well:

That's Sunny in the middle, looking like Fidel Castro.  This is exactly how Sunny, and Fidel, looked 36 years ago.  They never age!

How old could Sunny be?  This picture was taken from a bit of a distance -- I didn't want him to think I was a weirdo or a CIA spy -- but you can tell that he's very Castro-like.  I think I heard him speaking Spanish to that little boy and offering his dad a cigar.  I also thought I heard the word "revolucion." 

Adding to this mystery, I found this picture of Castro on the internet eating ice cream:

The entire picture actually show a full ice cream cone in Castro's communist paw, but I had to crop it to delete the name of the copyright holder of the photo.  I don't want them to sue the little old LG Report for appropriating this likeness. 

Anyway, I think that's Sunny.  Same hat and beard.  And that looks like one of Sunny's Nutty Buddy cones (second door from the right on his truck.)

As far as I know, nobody has ever seen Sunny and Fidel Castro in the same room at the same time.  I'm the first to make this link.   

This ought to give Pat something to think about while he bides his time "somewhere in the Midwest." 

Tomorrow, I'm going down to the warehouse where Sunny keeps his truck.  I think I may find Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Iran's Prez) and Kim Jong-il (North Korea's Grand Poohbah) running trucks outta there too....  Pat, gimme a call when you read this post, I've got your career-making nab lined up...

Until next time kids.  Keep readin', likin' and recommendin' The LG Report!

P.S.   Ben from Chicago promises us that the Illinois installment of the 50-State Interview Series will be along will be a good one!

1 comment:

  1. Hey LG, I can't believe that truck is still running. I remember he used to come down Hawthorne Ave. the same time every evening. For some reason, I believe we used to call him "Tommy". Maybe it was before he had "Sunny" painted on the side. Rumor has it that the ice cream truck was used during the "Bay of Pigs" invasion to keep Castro's rebels cool with toasted almond bars. Oh by the way, there's a "facebook" page dedicated to Sunny with lots of photos and many comments from current and former Neptune City-ites. Eggman


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