Sunday, August 8, 2010

Guest Blog - John From the Intermountain West Checks In!

As promised kids, The LG Report has opened itself up to Guest Bloggers and our first third-party submission has hit the desk. 

It comes from John (aka "Captain Moroni"), a follower who lives in the "Intermountain West."  Being an East Coaster, LG did not know the exact definition/geographic boundaries of the Intermountain West.  Here's where it lies, according to our good friends at Google:

OK, now that we have that outta the way... Let's turn the proceedings over to John. 

First, he addresses the glut of "Going Out of Business" furniture stores:

"Every single furniture company in the intermountain west is perpetually

going out of business. (I have often wondered if that happens all over the
world. "This weekend only - our 3rd Annual Going Out Of Business Sale at
the Singapore Sofa Store!!!" and "If somebody doesn't buy a bedroom set in
the next 10 minutes from Larry's London Loungechairs, we'll be out of
business within the hour!!!" )

Next, John turns his gaze upon political races:

"No matter that the opposing candidate is a decorated war hero, spends all
his time working at a soup kitchen, and just donated his entire fortune to an orphanage, the opposing candidate will run an advertisement that shows him shaking hands with Lucifer while an announcer says, "My opponent, Joseph Pondscum, took time out from his busy schedule of clubbing babies and harvesting their organs to fund his crack habit so he could co-invent the vuvuzela in conjunction with Satan.   While the Prince of Darkness has since apologized, Joseph Pondscum has flatly refused to do so! How about it, Joe?" Can't a single politician just talk about what they're going to do to stop flushing this country down the commode?"

John finishes up with an observation about lawn mowing:

"On every street in every neighborhood in the USA, there is at least one guy who mows the lawn Saturday morning while wearing his wife-beater T-Shirt. Do they have some kind of meeting to plan it all out?"

[Editor's Note: We couldn't find a stock photo of a guy mowing the lawn in his tank top, apparently people aren't so interested in taking and displaying such photos.]

That's it for today folks, thanks to Captain Moroni (John) for his most-excellent guest blogging, and thanks to all our readers for clicking in.  Please be sure to check back soon, good stuff is coming along all the time, including our Pennsylvania state interview (part of The LG Report's 50-State Interview Series) and some vintage Geo!

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