giant leap forward, one of those REALLY l--o--n--g and impressive leaps where, as you land, just for a second, you think you may have split your crotch bone in half (never mind that there is no "crotchbone," we're on a roll.) You have a lightning flash of terrifying thought: "Oh no, what did I do..." But then it's gone, and you realize that you're OK and that you've just made the most impressive leap of your life. That's what we're talking about. Word.
Before we get to this miracle of modern technology, however, here are Three Random LG Thoughts:
1. If I ever go to the electric chair, a Coke Slurpee(tm) is going to be part of my last meal. And I'll insist that they let me prepare it, because (and here's a valuable secret for you LG Report readers), I always slide over to the soda dispenser and put some actual Coke in the Slurpee cup when I'm about halfway through filling it. This little clandestine act makes the Slurpee more moist and flavorful. Shhh, don't let the 7-11 authorities know;
2. LG recently read a study that said that you shouldn't believe all studies. He tends to agree with that study; and, finally,
3. A couple of weeks ago, LG read a story in the local paper about a guy who left this area and moved to North Carolina. He was gunned down in what is suspected to be a drug-related crime. Everyone that the local paper interviewed in his hometown said things like "He was so gentle, a true friend when you needed him," and "He was such a kind and caring soul, not an enemy in the world, just an angel on Earth." Then (this is TRUE, I swear!) the final line of the story said something like: "Mr. X had been arrested in North Carolina not long before his death for kicking down the door of a house and beating up two people inside."
So today The LG Report went to the Point Pleasant (NJ) boardwalk, a much smaller and more civilized place than the Seaside Heights boardwalk of Snooki, J-Woww, The Situation and the rest of the "Jersey Shore" cast on MTV. We mentioned all of those characters, of course, to attract the Google hits. Here's a picture of a random fellow who we encountered in Point Pleasant:
There you have it kids, The LG Report's first video, short but semi-sweet. We hope you enjoyed it, there are plenty more (and more entertaining) to come. We'll see you back here at the ranch soon with a new posting.
And don't be afraid to forward this link to friends of yours who might be interested in the new look and sound of Bon Jovi!