Thursday, March 31, 2011

The LG Report's Cutest Pet Contest Is Here!

It's finally here, The Second Annual LG Report Cutest Pet Contest!

Please, contain your exuberance.  And please don't pee on the rug. Or scratch the furniture. 
We asked each person submitting a pet to include one line about why their entrant should win.  Unfortunately, not everyone adhered to the one-line limit.  So LG is now changing that requirement and will supply his own narrative for each entrant, although snippets of what the owner provided may be included.  Hard to say since we haven't written it yet.   

You really can't hold us to any particular standard here, sorry. 
The rules for voting are simple: 

  1. All votes must be conveyed in a comment to this post.  Hence, there will be complete transparency, everyone will be able to count the votes (if they have nothing else to do with their miserable lives);
  2. Each person may only vote once (if you have different screen names, theoretically you could cheat and vote under each one, but we'll trust you here.  It's only for a stinkin' bag of pet treats people!);
  3. Votes submitted without any name for the voter will not be counted.  You must use a name somewhere (thus, the comment could be submitted as "Anonymous" for the profile, but you then must include a name in the comment for it to count.  E.g. "I vote for Fido.  Signed, Stinky Butt);
  4. Votes submitted by people with the good sense to be followers of The LG Report will count twice.  Yes, it's a cheap ploy to attract followers, but at least we admit it. If you are a follower, please type "Follower" at the end of your vote (LG doesn't have all the followers names memorized) if you want it to count for two.  If you don't type "follower," your vote will only count for one.    
  5. Voting ends at 5 pm Eastern Time (U.S.) on Friday, April 8, 2011.   The winner will be announced soon thereafter.
Without further delay, here ladies and gentlemen are the 2011 competitors for the title of The LG Report's Cutest Pet 2011:


This is LANDO, the ball-catching dog.  Lando is in the center.  Please don't vote for the gentleman on the left, we're sure he'll feel insulted.  Plus, we doubt he can catch a ball as well as Lando.


Here we have BLACKJACK, a 6-year old male.  His owner says that Blackjack is "one of a kind, inside and out."  He's smart, loyal and wild.  That orange harness is part of his skydiving equipment.  He's also wearing a Pandora bracelet around his neck.  Don't ask us what the woman in the background is doing.  

TUCKER is seen here doing his bird impersonation.  He's two years old and has flown south for the winter each of the last two years.  The dog tags around his neck weigh approximately the same as Tucker.  Tucker loves The Rolling Stones, crossword puzzles and most poetry, but he does not like poems that use words that rhyme with his name.  If he wins, we won't know whether to send him dog treats or bird feed.  


SCOOTER lives in Pennsylvania (hence the Eagles bandanna) and is six years old (although he was only 4 1/2 when this picture was taken.)  His owner says that Scooter "can shake, do a high five, and of course, stick out his red rocket when he gets excited to see me."  "Red rocket" was the most risque phrase that we could get past the censors.  Tucker reminds us of Charlie Sheen, although Charlie is not that great at high fiving.  He's got the red rocket thing down however.

JAKE lives at the Jersey Shore, where he enjoys surfing, sleeping and not watching the TV show "Jersey Shore."  He's a deep thinker who measures his words carefully.  Jake doesn't like being called "Jacob" (not his name) and he loves his daily walk.  He's a Republican.

SOPHIE is seen here attacking an innocent dog toy.  She's only a bad dog when she's awake, otherwise she's very well behaved.  She chews on just about anything that moves or doesn't, and is great at tracking mud through the house and jumping on people with mud on her paws.  She has some good qualities, we just can't think of them right now.  If Charlie Sheen were a dog, he'd hang out with Sophie.  Coincidentally, Sophie's catchphrase is "Chewing, duh!"



TOBY, says his owner, "is a smart, funny, hyper, trouble seeking, little stinker who loves to string toilet paper all over the house."  This photo was taken when Toby was only three months old.  He loves playing chess and tinkering with the engines of old cars. 
 

KIT is a tortoise shell cat who lives in the same house as Toby (above).  Unfortunately, she does not like, or get along with, Toby.  Kit's owner clearly favors Toby, since she submitted a Playboy centerfold-quality photo of Toby and a dot-matrix, Zapruder Film-style shot of Kit.  Poor Kit, no wonder she hates Toby.  But at least she has her name embedded in her photo (small consolation, we know...)



This is COFFEETREE'S CRIMSON CRUELLA, who, according to her owner, is a "killer Doberman ... [and] frisbee toy chaser extraordinaire."  It appears that she's wearing a sock on her ear. Don't ask us why.  Maybe the owner will clarify in a comment.  Cruella's house must have a lot of flies, we note the fly swatter hanging within easy reach.  Although it's high-end, personalized fly swatter with the initial "M" prominently showing.  Or is that a "W?"   



Papoo loves to chase cats, balls and, he says, he's "...the reason my mommy doesn't need a third child!"  Papoo's owner needs to seed that lawn a bit, kind of embarrassing, no?  Papoo is a big Phillies, Eagles, SixersFlyers fan who lives in suburban Philadelphia.  He's hoping for an invitation to the Royal Wedding in England.  Papoo was the name of a character in "Seinfeld," we're not sure if there's a connection.  Seriously though, get that lawn seeded.    

OREO, 1 1/2 years old, "...loves strawberry tops, apples, lettuce, and of course carrots. Oreo likes to dig and he also likes to play ball," according to his owners (Athena and Alexis.)  You'd think he'd also like Oreo cookies, no?  In this photo, Oreo stares longingly at some colored plastic balls just on the other side of the chicken wire fence.  Poor guy, someone help him out.

According to his owner, DEACON D. DAWG's "special purpose in life (referencing the Steve Martin picture: The Jerk) is to retrieve the paper, every Saturday and Sunday morning."  Here he's seen with an edition of the local paper announcing a guilty verdict. Deacon doesn't read the newspaper himself, although he has been known to make use of it for other purposes at times.  He's a big fan of the University of Tennessee's sports teams and loves country music. 


ROMEO, only four months old, is, according to his owner "...a rescue pup, with a heart of gold, and he is at his happiest with a lap to lie on and a continuous tummy rub."  Romeo has the distinction of being the entrant who lives the farthest away from The LG Report's corporate headquarters...he hails from South Africa.  Hence, since he's in the Southern Hemisphere, Romeo's pose appears sideways.  In South Africa, this would look rightside up (If you believe that, LG has a bridge to sell you...)

So there we have it folks, the entrants in the 2011 LG Report's Cutest Pet Contest.  Please get your votes in soon!

55 comments:

  1. Dang it, I wish I would've entered my pets. Grrr...

    I'll vote for Kit. I wouldn't want to get in a cat-fight with her.

    Love always, Shanimal

    Follower.

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  2. What luck that I just signed yestreday to follow!
    This is so difficult! I should be loyal to my fellow Tennessean and vote for Deacon D. Dawg. But I'm a loyal cat person, so Kit is a strong contender. And how about Romeo? I do love a man in a sexy pose. And...oh, they're all cute! Hmmmmm....I gotta go with Crimson Cruella - what a clown!
    Ethelmaepotter - FOLLOWER!!!!

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  3. Ohhhhhh, mannnnnnnnI was going to vote for my Toby, but, Romeo is so cute.....Nope, sorry, Desiree...gotta go with my Toby!

    T O B Y gets my vote.....

    Your comments made it all the more fun......WHAT A GUY. If you had put yourself up there as a pet I might have vote for you.....NOPE STILL GOING WITH TOBY..........kt

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  4. Romeo!!!!! I may be his mother (and therefore run the risk of being accused of being shamelessly biased...which I am, obviously) but look at that gorgeous little face! What a winner!

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  5. Definately Romeo - look at that pose!

    @kungfukittypow

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  6. Romeo gets my vote, even though I had to lie flat on my desk to appreciate the photo. Thank you for the offer, but I already have a bridge.

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  7. I'm in the same dilemma as Karen!

    Toby is an absolute cutie, and I love Karen, but Romeo is South African, and had a really hard start in life, so I'm afraid (with apologies to Karen!) that I have no option but to cast my vote for....(drum roll!).....

    R O M E O

    ...besides with a name like that, who wouldn't be besotted by his considerable charms!



    NOW: Are you SURE we're only permitted ONE vote? That would give me a chance to vote for TOBY, too...but, I think I'd have to cheat, and put it ROMEO'S way, too...he travelled the furthest, after all and so won't have the benefit of all those American supporters and cheerleaders.

    GREAT POST, LAZARUS!!!

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  8. i vote for romeo, the cutest mutt anywhere :)

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  9. It'll have to be Romeo for me - with perhaps Deacon D Dawg a close second.

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  10. How can you say no to those eyes?!?! ROMEO for the WIN!

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  11. OOOPS! I should have read the rules first...I see I need to remind you I am one of your followers! Good heavens! How many do you have?

    My vote (cast earlier but still not displaying!) is for...

    R O M E O

    And...I am a...

    F O L L O W E R of the LG Report :)

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  12. Tucker gets my vote--and not just because he rules...I mean, lives, here! And I am a laughing follower!

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  13. Romeo is definitely the cutest pet on this page of adorable companions!

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  14. ROMEO!!! He's such a cutie! Look at that pose, such a winner :-)

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  15. Oh for goodness sake just when I think you can't get any funnier you do. I think I might need resussitation after laughing so much and coughing. I have actually gone a funny shade of blue now.
    Okay with regards to voting I can't legitimately vote...the reason is simple I know these dogs...well I know their owners and if I vote for one the others will all skip ship from my blog leaving me 'Facing 50 no mates'.
    Are you sure I can't vote for the man in photograph one?
    I am a devoted and contented follower of The LG Report and I daren't vote.

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  16. Awww. It has to be ROMEO! He's gorgeous cute! :)

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  17. PS Don't shout this out to the others but Romeo does look adorable doesn't he?

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  18. They're all adorable, pixelated and otherwise. I vote for Deacon. I think he should have a permanent job as a jury foreman!

    Marissa
    (Devoted Follower, but sometimes a rebel)

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  19. It's a tough choice, but Toby gets my vote!

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  20. The Killer Doberman made me laugh. But I have to go for my friend EN's dog Tucker, who likes to hang out in birdbaths, apparently.
    FOLLOWER! :)

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  21. I vote for Romeo such a cute will guy

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  22. I have to vote for Oreo. He is the cutest bunny. Especially since easter is around the corner! Alexandra

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  23. My vote goes for Scooter. You have to love a guy who isn't afraid to show his red rocket around the woman he loves.

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  24. I was going to go with Blackjack, but then I saw Lil Romeo. Still gonna go with BLACKJACK!

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  25. What? Only one cat? Hm....maybe I should enter myself as the foxiest cougar...would that count?

    Didn't think sooo

    Lisa

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  26. I am here to vote for Tucker!
    dpucci9972atgmaildotcom

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  27. Oh I have to vote for Tucker. The bird dog. :o) All the animals are cute though. Good luck to each and every one.
    Take care and God Bless!!

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  28. I vote for Romeo... A cute puppy in a lovely "rub my tummy" pose. What's not to love?

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  29. This is hard! I like Toby (and his great person, KT) and feel bad for the red-headed stepchild, Kit, but I am going to have to give my vote to the adorable Romeo. Yes, I realize I am corroborating with our youth obsessed culture by picking a 4 month old, but he is so darn cute.
    Romeo
    Follower

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  30. I vote for Tucker! He´s the cutest little dog there is.

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  31. That Deacon D. Dawg is about as cute as they come! Plus, he's useful!

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  32. My vote's for Tucker, though Deacon D. Dawg came awful close. How come I didn't know about this contest? My chis would have won hands down. I am a follower, so make that 1 vote for Tucker and 1 for Deacon.

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  33. I vote for Romeo. He is adorable.
    Really enjoyed the tour and explosion of colors.

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  34. I'm here to vote for Romeo! He's so cute (and a bit goofy) in that sideways photo!

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  35. Cruella gets my vote. How can you not love that face!

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  36. Of course I have to vote for my bunny OREO, He is so cute and cuddly and a great pet. Good luck to all the other pets. ATHENA

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  37. The contest looks hard this year. There are so many cute pets. I wish I could vote for all of them, but my vote goes to my bunny OREO! He is a great loveable pet that everyone loves. ALEXIS

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  38. My vote has to go for my girls pet OREO the cutest bunny in the world. RON

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  39. i vote for Sophie. She is one smart pup and drives LG crazy--what could be cuter?
    Signed,
    No You Have A Stinky Butt

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  40. I vote for Sophie, the LG Report blog dog. She gives the best kisses!

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  41. Sorry Karen, Toby is adorable but I also love Deacon and I have to vote for Romeo.

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  42. i vote for JAKE. Its cute when he humps my leg.

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  43. I vote for LG...Have I got the hang of this?

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  44. My vote is for ROMEO ... so darn gorgeous and tummy-rubbable :D)

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  45. Cruella is wearing a sock on one ear because... the other one fell off. Sock that is.

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  46. Wait! No, wait! I am a follower too and I vote for CRUELLA! Mighty dog to the stars.
    Misfit

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  47. I vote for Oreo. What a cute bunny. Emil

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  48. Hi,
    Nice pictures.. Really like it.. Thanks for sharing..
    caverta

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The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!