Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Please Enable Girl Scout Cookies On Your Browser...

...because that's what we're talking about today on The LG Report!

The Southeast Regional Marketing Manager for The LG Report, Jill (Salary: zero; Benefits: zero; Fun Factor: priceless!), recently suggested that we do a posting on Girl Scout Cookies. Since we've already covered every other critical issue in the world, including  roller derby and  dog farts, we decided to give it a shot.  Get ready to get your learn on folks!

The first Girl Scout Cookies were sold by a troop in Muskogee, Oklahoma in December of 1917.  By 1936, the Girl Scouts national organization had begun licensing commercial bakeries around the country to produce the cookies.  Up to 28 varieties of cookies are offered nationally, although each regional council of the Girl Scouts is allowed to decide which officially-licensed bakery to use and which specific types of cookies to sell in their region.

The Girl Scouts of the USA organization (read: HQ) requires that these three types of cookies be sold by each council annually: 

  • Thin Mints (which, obviously, are mislabeled since they make the consumer anything but thin); 
  • Peanut Butter Sandwiches/Do-Si-Dos (different name depending upon how hick-filled your region is); and
  • Shortbreads/Trefoils  
Now here's the interesting thing about the Trefoils which LG did not know, and you most likely didn't either.  A "trefoil" is a leaf with three "leaflets," and is the symbol of the Girl Scouts.  The Trefoil cookies are cut into the shape of a trefoil.  Who knew?  You certainly didn't, so stop shaking your head like you did.  Seriously, cut it out!  But now you have an interesting fact to offer when Tom in the mail room asks you to buy 10 boxes from his daughter.

Some more trivia: Thin Mints are the best sellers (25%), followed by Somoas at 19% ("Can I have some mo' a?!"  Actually, they reportedly get their name from the ingredients, including coconut, which are plentiful on the island of Somoa) and Tagalongs, also known as Peanut Butter Patties, at 13%.

The LSD-flavored cookies proved unpopular and were discontinued in 2003.

In 2007, the most recent year for which LG could get statistics without risking a callous on his Googling fingers, the Girls Scouts of the USA sold about 200 million boxes of cookies.  The all-time sales record by one Scout, albeit unofficial, was set in 2008 by 15-year old Jennifer Sharpe of Dearborn, Michigan, who sold 17,328 boxes (her parents must have pictures on a lot of people.) Better get  moving now if your kid is going to eclipse that mark!

A few types of Girl Scout Cookies are going to be "retired" soon, including: 
  • All Abouts/Animal Treasures/Thanks-a-Lots; 
  • Shout Outs; 
  • Thank You Berry Much; and 
  • The LG Reportabella Mushroom Flavored Biscuits. 
OK, OK, we made up that last one, you got us, but the others were real.  Honest.  Wikipedia wouldn't lie.
If, after all this mouth-watering talk of Girl Scout Cookies, you'd like strap on the cookie feedbag, we suggest you CLICK HERE to be transported to the Official Girl Scout Cookies Website, where you can order to your heart's content.  Tell them Jill's daughter sent you (Jill: Consider this a form of compensation!) 

And, finally, if you're wavering about supporting the Girl Scouts with a purchase, we leave you with this thought:



  1. That was a hilarious post! And I loved the poster so much I had to grab it and put it on facebook. But I went to the GS website and put in my name, address, and phone number so that a girl scout can call me about ordering some cookies! I haven't had any in years...about 6 to be exact. When I worked at the bank, there was always a coworker whose kid was selling them. No one has ever come to my house soliciting, or I would have been buying them right along. Love, love GS cookies!

  2. I was a girl scout through my Juior year in high school (when it wasn't so un-cool to do that). Although I do not have any Girl Scouts in the family right now I do make sure I buy some from kids I know. My favorite is

    About the poster....It made me remember that I once managed the local pool during the summer. After I kicked out a teenage boy for being too rough, he walked right up face to face and threatened to burn my house down. I just happened to have a book of matches in my pocket and handed them to him without saying a word, and smiled. If I pulled that stunt today I would probably not have a house. kt

  3. I ordered my cookies from a sweet little scout up the street... and I just want to know where the CRAP they are...

    I actually (true story) decided to postpone going on my diet until I polished off the three boxes I ordered... so the longer they take in arriving the more I need to lose... and the more fun I have.

  4. My husband actually ordered the Top 3 cookies. I don't care for the Samoa kind too much. You know, that sounds quite wrong and rascist on paper.

    I really DO like Samoans the people! And I hope they don't show up at my door demanding clarification. Some of them are quite large in build and stature. (I'll just shut up now.)

  5. The whole post was great - but that picture is PRICELESS!!!

  6. The poster is definitely motivational.

    The only thing i remember from the Addams Family movie is the line something
    like this:
    are they made from real Girl Scouts?

  7. Two things. Well three.

    1. Funny, as always.


    3. You HAVE to watch this SNL skit:


  8. Damn you are funny! LOVED the Pictures...where do you get this stuff? Lisa


The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!