Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Geo's High School Photo Finally Revealed!

Sorry dear readers, I feel like I haven't been giving 100% to the blog lately, mostly because of my other blogging duties, which have just wrapped up, and the past and impending Snowmageddons and Snowpocalypses.  We're getting some snow here in the Northeast in case you've been in a coma.  

It's hard juggling all of these competing demands and weather emergencies.  

But I'm back! 

I posted Geo's profile on Saturday, and the responses were split into two camps. 

Someone, possibly my cousin Alexandra, but I would never rat her out, expressed one school of thought when she said: "I like your blog but you mention Geo too much." 

Someone else, possibly Lisa from Philly, but I would never rat her out, weighed in for the other camp with: "That Geo profile was excellent, but I think you should do a part 2." 

Take your pick.

Anyway, today is the big day when we finally reveal Geo's high school graduation photo.  But first, this message from Geo to readers who haven't appreciated his over-exposure on The LG Report:

That's rather rude Geo, I can't believe you feel that way.  Note that he's wearing his highway construction worker day-glo tank top to warn motorists that he's either: 1) holding a flag near the excavation point; or 2) lying in the gutter with his arm extended into the street.

Before I show you Geo's Mt. Penn High School graduation photo, let me relate this quick tale to give you an idea as to what kind of person Geo is. 

Back in the early 1990s, Geo, Dan and Jimmie went to Russia with a tour group.  This busload of Americans traveled together during the entire trip through parts of the old Soviet Union.  One day, about halfway through the journey, Dan grabbed the microphone on the bus and said, "Let's all yell out what we like least about Geo!" 

The passengers, all of whom knew Geo for only about a week, screamed things like "He shops too much!" and "He's a picky eater!"  

These were random comments from people who came to know the core of Geo's being in a very short time.  Today, almost 20 years later, I'd say that Geo shops too much and is a picky eater.  I think that Dan and Jimmie would agree.

Little-known fact: Geo was on his high school junior varsity bowling team.  He won't try to impress you with this fact immediately upon meeting by throwing that into the conversation, but it's a fact that's always there, looming in the background, like the achievement of someone who scored a 1,600 on their SATs.  Or won a Heisman Trophy.  

You can see it in everything he does: Geo has the confidence and grace of a JV bowler. 

Geo was also one of the editors of his high school yearbook, which, as he proudly proclaims, assured him of the ability to get his picture into the yearbook more than any other student.  Geo was Machiavellian at an early age (albeit with rather lowly ambitions.)    

So, without further adieu (drum roll please....), here's Geo's high school graduation yearbook photo:

[Pause here for reams of unmitigated laughter]

If you'll look closely, you'll see at the end of the fifth line of activities that it says "J.V."  The "bowling" part got cut off.  I took a photo of this from his actual yearbook, hence the imperfections in the graphics.  Sorry, best I could do. 

Nice bowtie Geo, were you parking cars that night?  Or tending bar?  

And what's that hairstyle called, "The Human Hair Knit Ski Cap?"  Did you comb that or merely wet it with a sponge?  And how did you manage to get your right ear to protrude in such a pronounced manner?  Were you trying to hear what the other kids were saying about you in the photography studio?  Was that the first incarnation of The Dish Network?

We could go on all day with this critique of Geo's high school photo, but time limitations dictate that you'll have to form your own discussion groups.  I must ask however: Geo, when did Groucho Marx die and leave you his eyebrows? 

So that's it for today folks, we here at the sprawling offices of The LG Report hope that you enjoyed today's post.  Tune in again tomorrow for more hilarity.....


  1. Is that Geos or Eugene Levys high school pix??

  2. One can never get too much of Geo!

  3. DEFINATELY a candidate for Ellen's Bad Paid for Photos segment...simply go to her website and submit! I see a free trip to Hollywood City in Geo's future!


The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!