Government Verification: No animals were harmed in the posting of this LG Report.
Today The LG Report is going to depart from its usual staid and mature manner in order to show you the seedier, and more juvenile, side of life.
Recently, LG was supping with some friends at their house. LG was attired in a tuxedo, of course, and had his personal sommelier with him, as is the norm. LG's friend Dannie, however, a Pittsburgher through-and-through, is not cut from the same cultured clothe as LG. Dannie was wearing jeans, as you shall soon see. How proletarian.
Seeking to prove the old adage "You can't polish a turd," LG decided to offer Dannie $5 if he could fit through our hosts' doggie door. A perfectly reasonable offer, no?
But, of course, you're thinking "What sane, right-minded, middle-aged, responsible person would accept such an offer?"
Dannie is a high-ranking executive at an international company. Married to a lovely woman. They have two great children. Dannie is what you might call a "respectable" and "responsible" person.
But Dannie does have one drawback: He hangs out with LG. Thus, he can be dragged down. You all can.
So, what transpired you wonder? As they say, a picture is worth 1,000 words:
People who know Dannie will recognize the buttocks. And, we know you're curious: Yes, he did actually fit all of the way through, even though from this photo it looks like he's a few donuts over the limit.
LG had to part with a sawbuck (or half of a hawk, as some would say) but it was well worth it to get this photo for The LG Report. I also threw in two Snausages for him.
LG has decided to make this somewhat of a regular feature on The LG Report: What People Will Do for $5. So be forewarned: He'll be out there offering to exchange $5 for your dignity and sense of maturity.
You can run but you can't hide. The only escape is through the doggie door...