Yesterday I read in a back issue of Esquire Magazine that Woody Harrelson likes practical jokes, as does his good friend, Owen Wilson.
Coincidentally, so do I.
Woody told an interviewer that for his birthday one year, Owen showed up with a few gift bags. Woody opened the first and pulled out a shirt that he really liked. He thanked Owen. Then he pulled a pair of pants that were the perfect size out of the second bag. He loved them. This continued for a few minutes before Woody finally realized that Owen had just taken clothes from Woody's closet and placed them into gift bags.
Owen got quite the laugh out of it. And I got an idea.
I still hadn't given my friend Geo his Christmas gifts. I called his wife, Anne (I couldn't leave her name out of this, the people back in Toledo would be so disappointed), and recruited her into the scheme. She surreptitiously gave me a favorite sweater and tie of Geo's. Anne had just bought him the tie this Christmas. The sweater was very unique, with special letter markings. You wouldn't like it, I know your taste if you read this blog. I didn't really like it either, but I didn't say anything. Hopefully Geo won't read this.
I gift wrapped Geo's tie and sweater (after defiling them in untold ways), along with a number of other presents that I'd bought him (a Rolex watch, tickets to the Super Bowl, keys to a Lamborghini; insignificant stuff like that.) I brought everything to Geo's place last night.
Here's a photo of Geo after he opened one of the gifts, a pair of underwear. He looked genuinely excited. I'm not posting this blog until after he wears the underwear and finds out about the itching powder.
Eventually Geo got to the first "re-gift," the tie. Although I don't think it technically qualifies as a "re-gift" under Seinfeldian standards, since it was never a gift to me in the first place, I sort of borrowed it. Geo opened the package and immediately lit up and said that he loved it. Here he shows it off, unaware that he's holding up something that was already his:
Seconds after this picture was snapped, Geo abruptly walked into his bedroom. His wife and I knew that he was in search of what he thought was his identical tie. He wanted to bring it out to show me that he liked the tie so much that he had two of them. But, as you know, he couldn't find it. I kept admonishing Geo to get back into the living room quickly, because his son Henry was waiting to open his own gifts. Anne was suppressing her laughter. I was too, barely. Geo returned without the "other" version of this tie.
He then opened his final gift, his favorite four-year old sweater. Once he got a good look at it, he realized that he was the victim of a practical joke. Geo was not happy, but his wife, son and I were all quite amused. This situation called to mind Geo's birthday of a few years ago. I gave him a phony scratch off lottery ticket, mixed in among real ones, which made him momentarily believe that he'd won $10,000.
Telling him that it was a hoax was one of the true pleasures of my life. I still laugh when I think about his reaction.
Here's a picture of Geo after he realized what was going on with the presents:
He was a good sport about the whole thing, probably along the lines of how Woody Harrelson handled it.
So now that I've planted the seeds, see what you can do with this ploy next year. Be creative. And if you do try it, make sure to notify me so that I can blog about it. Get some pictures too if you can. That would be worth a lot of clicks.
Until next time kidz....