Thursday, January 14, 2010

Various & Sundry

As you can see, I'm now coming up with synonyms for "miscellaneous." 

I apologize, but not every blog posting can have a single, unified theme with cutting-edge insights, like some of my previous posts.  Which ones you ask?  Well, um, um, you know which ones I'm talking about.  I won't insult you by stating the obvious.

The pressure on a small-time blogger is just incredible.  I can't imagine what I'll do when I get ten readers.

Here's one of my favorite pizza places in NYC, Mariella on 17th and 3rd, to grab a slice:

Notice that I said "for a slice?"  An interesting phenomenon uncovered by The LG Report, one which hasn't been reported by the mainstream media -- or even the culinary media -- is that some pizza places, Mariella included, serve an excellent slice, but their whole pies are just so-so. 

Why is this?  Is a slice pie made with a different recipe?  This may eternally remain just one of life's mysteries, but rest assured that The LG Report will continue working on your behalf to get to the bottom of it.  We may need to convene Congressional hearings when they're done with steroids in baseball, the BCS bowl arrangement and other matters of national importance.

I know you've all seen commercials for Snuggies, those wrap-around blanket-robe hybrids. And everyone knows what Ugg boots look like (ugg-ly!)  Could the photo below depict the evil offspring of a Snuggie that mated with an Ugg?

This is a rare photo, like a Loch Ness Monster sighting.  It's somewhat of a scary sight, don't you agree? These things look like Martha Stewart spelunking boots.  The material appears to be either denim, or whatever potholders are made of.  Or possibly someone's old curtains. They certainly have a sturdy rubber soul.  I wouldn't be surprised if these are Air Jordans Home Edition or something.  

You're probably wondering where I got this picture.  Well, I don't want to reveal any confidences, but I snapped the photo while over my friend Dan's house to watch the Citi National Championship football game. Dan and I were the only people present.  And I took the picture.  But I refuse to say whose feet and legs are depicted.  You won't get it out of me, sorry.

I hate to bust anyone for being illogical, especially when they were nice enough to host me for a football game, but whoever is wearing these monstrosities told me that their purpose was to keep their feet warm.  Yet, photographic evidence shows that said person was actually wearing socks, too.  Why would one need feet warmers, on a not-very-cold night, indoors, when they are already wearing socks?  Sounds like someone was trying to make a fashion statement -- without owning up to it.

I would say BUSTED if I weren't so mature.

Let's just move on. 

Here's an LG Report Status Update on a Previous Posting: The McDonald's Corporation has still not contacted me, nor has it issued a press release, to announce the introduction of the Eco-Friendly Meals Initiative that The LG Report recently suggested.  Millions of fry boxes have gone to landfills since the post originally appeared.  It will be interesting to see how long this American corporate behemoth can hold out in the face of mounting pressure from LG Report readers.  We'll keep you updated on developments in this riveting drama.

Finally, Sophie The Blog Dog has been biting bugging me to get her photo posted wearing these ridiculous glasses with the fake nose and moustache.  She said that the nose would look more realistic if it were cold. Whatever.  Anyway, this is what Groucho Marx would look like if he came back as a dog.

Some future LG Report topics:
  • American Idol
  • A Key West Travel Review
  • The MTV Show "The Jersey Shore"
  • A NYC Photo Essay
  • The Martha Stewart All-Male Audience Super Bowl Show (The LG Report will be in the audience)
  • KFC
  • Tons of other compelling topics, so keep logging in!
Thanks for reading folks.  Have a great one.

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The LG Report appreciates all comments, thanks for taking the time; Karma will probably award you a winning lotter ticket or something. The "or something" being more likely. But thanks again!